The Pabst Pack

The cast is off!

2011-01-19T18:54:00.002-06:00

Today was the big day to get the cast off! You were supposed to get a smaller cast for another 3 weeks. That seemed a little crazy. Since when do kids need 2 casts? We conveniently bumped into your Dr. at Chick-fil-a 'kids eat free' night. He was there with his 6 year old girl. I took the opportunity to ask him if it was REALLY necessary you got another cast. He went into Dr. mode and told me all the reasons. Since we were at Chick-fil-a, and this was my territory, I decided to be direct and to the point. "Listen buddy, another cast is going to cost me about $500 bucks. Our insurance sucks. I could buy some nice clothes with that kind of money. Does she really need another cast?"

So that was last night, and this morning was your appt. After viewing your x-rays he was so kind to give us the 'choice' of another cast, or a wrist splint thing. We went with the splint! Added bonus= you can take a real bath! Everyone wins....even the Dr. Wrist splint=$200

The human wrecking ball

2011-01-10T19:48:00.006-06:00

Jack 15 months=not my favorite age

I am exhausted.

This is pretty much how a day goes with you.

Whining/crying and wanting to be held by me...or
Terrorizing the house. Nonna and Papa have nicknamed you the human wrecking ball.

Unless you are napping(which thank god you do)..... I am on duty. If you are not wanting to be held, and the house is quiet...I need to be very concerned. You have figured out the childproof cabinet lock things. You don't waste your time breaking into the tupperware cabinet though. Nope, you are only interested in the liquor cabinet and the cleaning supplies. Yesterday I caught you running across the kitchen with a bottle of scotch. Biggest grin ever on your face, probably from the panic on mine, as I ran to intercept before you dropped the Dewar's to the tile. If you are not in the liquor cabinet, you love the cleaning supplies. As you pull everything out you like to chew on the dishwasher tablets. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...............

If you are not in the kitchen, you are probably in the bathroom. Most likely climbing up to the sink to grab a toothbrush to dip in the toilet. If you are feeling just a 'little' devious you like to find my make-up brushes and chew on them. Pulling all the toilet paper of the roll is baby stuff now. You don't even waste your time with that.

Your biggest obsession right now is beverages. If there is a cup, beer bottle, coffee mug or glass of wine in sight...you HAVE to have it. You like to try and drink it and spill whatever is inside all over yourself and the floor. If you can't reach it....you will try, and try, until you get really pissed off. I have pretty much turned to chugging my coffee(and wine) to just avoid this whole situation. You actually enjoy the wine. You make this horrible sour face and then stick your tongue out for more(with a huge grin). I am desperate...so I give you more.

I almost forgot about the baby gate. That thing is pretty much useless. Most of the time you figure out how to open it yourself and the other times the girls leave it open. On the flip side, I have had luck with gating you on the stairs and letting you climb up and down. All of your spills have only been a couple of stairs. No harm done so far. I was considering taking the gates down all together. I decided the gate still served some safety purpose when it helped stop one of your rolls down the stairs though. See, I do care!

I would have thought meal times would be a nice break. A chance to contain you while you took your time eating. Quite the opposite. You are so opposed to eating a meal I don't know how you have any meat on your bones. It's hard enough to even get you in the highchair to eat, usually you start screaming or squirming right away. I do feel obligated to try and feed you though. I make sure to put a nice assortment of food on the tray and hope you might find something you like. Most of the time you take each piece of food and throw it across the room. If I put too many pieces you usually just take your arm and do a large swipe to remove all food instantly. And then follow with both arms back and forth to make sure all the food is on the floor. Once I take you out of the highchair you like to go around and eat a few pieces off the ground. Some days I just don't have the fight in me. Those days I just sprinkle your food on the ground. Hoping we can move on from this stage soon. It's kind of messy and probably not the most sanitary.

Sometimes I can get you to eat baby food. It's tricky though. I have to give you a spoon so you think you are feeding yourself and then as fast as I can I shove the bites in your mouth until you figure out you are actually eating. You like your milk though, and you prefer it out of the bottle. Occasionally you will drink it from a sippy cup. Usually you throw that across the room and demand a bottle. Such a gentle, delicate little guy.

All that being said, everyone thinks you are the cutest, easiest baby. When we get you out of the house, you are happy as a clam. You are a charmer and love people. Your little face is so animated and you even make these excited grunting noises to go with the expression. If you are having fun and have an audience you will circle around smiling and twinkling those eyes. When you get really excited you do this repeat squatting motion and throw your arms in the air squealing.

Broken arm

2011-01-03T14:36:00.003-06:00

I think I will always remember this Christmas as the Christmas Ava had a broken arm. I need to write down the whole story to ensure that you don't try to guilt me one day with some story about the time you broke your arm and I didn't take you to the Dr..... or get you a cast for a week. Yes, that might be a little true, but there is more to the story.

So, the week before Christmas was a crazy circus of parties, family, no school and lots of fun. You were spending the day at Grandma's house while I was at work. I guess some random boxcar kid came over to play with you. Apparently it was 'his' idea to "jump from the trailer into the tree." He was probably good at it, considering he lives in the woods or something. (You claim you don't know his name or where he came from???) You, on the other hand were not as good. I guess you missed the branch and fell on your arm. I should also clarify that 'trailer' was the kind that is pulled behind a car to transport things. Not trailer as in the kind people live or travel in. I'm pretty sure the Dr. thinks we live in a trailer and I let you climb to the top and jump into trees from it. I gave up on explaining your fall and just let you go with your story of 'jumping from trailer to tree.' It's kind of fun now looking at people's confused, horrified faces.

Sorry, back to the story. We got home from Grandma's and you seemed pretty out of it and kind of cranky. I figured you were just tired from falling asleep on Grandma's couch that afternoon(apparently falling asleep after the injury is a sign of a broken bone...oops.) We were headed out to dinner so I gave you some ibuprofen and figured you would be fine. When we were leaving you ran outside after us and cried for us to stay. That is probably the first time you have EVER done that for a babysitter. Again, oops. I really do feel kind of bad about that one.

Next day you seemed ok. You spent the day at Nonna's and didn't complain one bit. That night I noticed you weren't using it and it looked a little swollen. Surely you would be complaining if it were broken right? Nope. You didn't complain. I decided maybe I should let our chiropractor look at it. I knew I had a really busy day and didn't think I would be able to get you over to see him. Luckily he lives down the street and he was so kind to stop by to take a look. He checked you out, wrapped it up and told me "I wouldn't take her to the emergency room, you will be there all night. Just take her into her Dr. tomorrow." 'Emergency room???', I thought, I wasn't even planning on taking her to the Dr., I was kind of thinking he would do one of his fabulous bone manipulation things and pop something back where it needed to go. Ok, fine, I'll take her to the Dr.

So the next day we went to the Dr., the eve of Christmas Eve. Dr. looks, tells us we need to get x-rays, but it looks like Ava is getting a cast for Christmas.

When the x-rays confirmed a broken bone the excitement started. 'What color will I get?' 'What will my friends say?' Aunt Erica added to the excitement when she told Ava about her broken arm as a kid. I guess Erica remembers it as the highlight of her childhood.

Bad news was it's Christmas...so they can't do the cast until next week! Now that I knew it was officially broken, it was kind of disturbing to see you with no cast of protection. All Christmas weekend you wore it wrapped and 'sometimes' wore the sling they told you to wear.

Monday finally comes and we head to the Pediatric orthopedist place. This is some crazy big cast factory. The nurse comes in and looks real quick and tells us the Dr. will be in and decide if she needs a cast. I saw your little heart sink. You were just eying up all the pretty colors and fantasizing about how cool you were going to look in a real cast. There I sat in fear that they were going to tell you that you didn't need a cast. I had to kind of mentally talk myself into the idea that no cast was a GOOD thing. In that moment though, all I could think about was how disappointed you would be. Not how much money and headache I would be saved without a cast.

No worries. The Dr. came in and showed us the x-rays for the first time. Turns out you broke BOTH the bones in your forearm. You wouldn't be getting one cast you would be getting TWO. The first one up above your elbow for 3 weeks and then the 2nd one smaller. Now I get to pay for two casts!!! Wait a minute Doc. I was kind of thinking a small cast for like 3 weeks, just long enough for her to get some attention and then get sick of it???

They whipped that cast on so fast and we were on our way to show it off. In the car you told me about how everyone wants to sign your cast. Now comes out my anal mommy side. The cast looked so cute and pretty, I didn't want it getting all trashed up just yet. I told you we could sign it in a couple weeks(right before it comes off and the new one goes on.) I managed to convince you this was a good idea. That lasted all of a few hours. Later that night we headed over to Nonna's for dinner. After a few bottles of wine everyone decided its time to sign your cast. No one gave a damn about what I wanted for the cast. Aunt Lynn was very convincing with her argument that it looked like you had no friends without it signed. Out the magic markers came and the drunks started writing away. I think this might have been your favorite part of the whole arm breaking(who knew it would be so much fun?!?.) You smiled so proud as you went around the table, telling everyone they would get a turn soon. You even insisted Daddy and I use our 'real names.' You didn't want your cast looking sissy signed by 'Mommy.'

So that is the story of the broken arm. You have been doing awesome writing with your left hand and pretty much doing everything one handed with no complaints.

Girl's Club

2010-12-18T06:13:00.002-06:00

We finally made it to the ceramic painting place! I have been wanting to take you two for a long time and just not made it. Aunt Laura is here for Christmas so we decided to make a trip to "Get Your Paint On" with Grandma. You were both so excited when I told you where we were going. We dropped Jack off with Nonna and Papa. Charly told them we were going to "girl's club power." I love how she added the 'power' on the end.

Choosing a ceramic to paint was fun, kind of scary for me. Watching the girls as they felt the need to pick up and/or touch every breakable piece of art. Whew. They finally decided on a piggy bank for Ava and a doggie mug for Charly.

Ava did pretty good on her piggie bank...in record time. Charly got creative with lots of colors on her mug. It didn't take long for them to get the idea to add dots and spots to their art. Lots and lots of dots and spots. I was in the zone painting away at my Snowman plate. He was looking 'really pretty' as Charly told me. You two were both trying to convince me to let you add some finishing touches (dots) to my plate. Grandma offered her garden knome up for you to add some details to. I thought I was in the clear. Ava, you would not give up though! You wanted to add a swirl to my plate. I finally gave in and held my breath as you painted a teal swirl on my plate. I can't lie, it was hard for me. I like things the way I like them and I can be a little anal perfectionist sometimes. Well, watching you carefully add the swirl to my plate and look up at me so proud when you were done, it was worth it. When I look at that snowman plate every year I will smile when I remember you at 6 . I will remember how much fun we had and how happy you were. I will remember that big smile you gave me when you finished your 'swirl' on my plate.

No one was ready for the girls club to be over. We decided to go out to dinner. Daddy was pretty jealous when he found out we went to his favorite spot...Chili's. You both enjoyed all of the attention of Mommy, Aunt Laura and Grandma.

Still not ready for the night to be over, we came home and let Daddy and Jack in on our girl's night fun. You both decided we needed to turn off all the lights and have a candlelight show. After a few performances where you both sang some 'original' songs, Ava decided that we should all sing an original song. Of course we all tried to get out of it, with no luck. You got all serious on me and started pointing your finger. "mom, I just want you to TRY and sing a song that you made up yourself. I'm just asking you to try. You always ask me to just try and I do. So you need to try to." Wow, ok. Can't argue with that 6 year old. Your Dad made up a blues number about getting coal in his stocking. We were pretty impressed, but Ava thought he should be singing in his real voice. You were not a fan of the deep jazzy tone. I sang a traditional ballad about Christmas being my favorite holiday. And Aunt Laura had a Christmas rap ready. Ava sang the sweetest song about Christmas. It was pretty long but the recurring theme was Christmas is not about the presents, it's about LOVE. The chorus included 'holly jolly christmas.' I can't even remember what Charly's song was about. I think i was too distracted by her dancing in her cinderella light up heels. Watching you two perform is joy. We can not help but smile the entire time.

Redde Redde the Elfie

2010-12-18T05:44:00.003-06:00

The "Elf on the Shelf," probably my favorite Christmas tradition. And not just because it evokes near perfect behavior out of the kids. Charly especially this year as gone crazy for this elf. When she wakes up in the morning she scurries around the house searching for the elf. It is so much fun to watch her search for him we have intentionally started hiding him better. The longer she searches in her giddy excitement the better. She almost always finds him before Ava. that's not going so well....

One day he was nowhere to be found. They checked the kitcen , the bathroom, the dining room, even went upstairs. They love every minute of it. Charly came flying into the kitchen to get our help. "Mommy, where do you think that elf is?!? He's a tricky little guy." They finally found him in the foyer. they just couldn't believe he would have flown there!

Last week Daddy put the elf on top of the tree. That was a big hit! Ava said she 'knew he was going to hide there one day." Apparently she had been waiting and checking the tree everyday for the elf. Charly thought while the elf was on the tree we should tell him all the things she was doing good lately. We told him about her big hugs, how she eats apples and broccoli, how she is trying to remember to brush her teeth. She was glowing in pride as I told the elf all about her, to relay back to Santa. I thought we were done going over her list of good deeds when she remembered and blurted out "Mom, don't forget to tell him about wipings butts." She was so serious when she said it. Pretty funny because I would hardly say Charly does a good job of wiping her butt.

Yesterday the girls got in an argument over elf's gender. I hadn't even condsidered the gender of Elf. The elf seems pretty a-sexual to me. Ava was confident elf was a boy....but Charly has no doubt that the elf is a girl. They both argued their sides without any good support. It's always funny to listen to an argument between a 3 and 6 year old. It pretty much goes like this "Elf's a girl Ava, she is a GIRL." "No, Charly, elf is a boy. I know he is a boy. Elf's are boys." And this went on for about 5 minutes. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Popping in

2010-12-14T11:33:00.003-06:00

Wow, this 3 kid thing got really crazy all the sudden. I can't believe how long its been since I had a chance to get on here and blog. It kind of all snuck up on me. Jack is cute as ever but into EVERYTHING, I have been working more and more, and the holiday craziness started. All that = no time for me.

I really have been working much more. Not sure how I feel about this. I am thrilled that we are busier, feeling thankful for that. A day home with Jack can be utterly exhausting...so many days I am feeling thankful to be able to get a 'break' and go to work. Then of course, I feel guilty for working and feel even more guilty for looking forward to working. I guess this is what motherhood is all about!

Considering the absolute craziness that is our life, I think I have a pretty good balance. Not much time for sitting around daydreaming, but we/I manage to fit it all in somehow.

We managed to get the tree up by December 3rd, lights on the house by Dec. 7th, and christmas cards in the mail by Dec. 9th. Ava and Charly were positively giddy over decorating the tree. They both managed to break an ornament in their excitement. After Charly broke one of my favorites she made sure to hold up each ornament and ask if if it was "glassable" (instead of breakable.) To get to hear her say that was definitely worth the broken ornament. She made it her mission to make sure all the 'glassable' ornaments went up high so Jack wouldn't break them. He is thoroughly entertained by the christmas tree. He gasps for excitement when he gets close to it. He loves to sneak over and steal the ornaments off and hide them around the house.

I went back and forth over putting up lights on the outside of the house. Finally decided, as I do every year, the kids will only be young once and they are worth it. Of course I can't just throw a few strings on the bushes. I knew I wasn't going to get ANY help from my dear husband, which is probably for the best to save the marriage. Instead I made a very wise decision and had one of the Builders Glass crews come over and hang them. They were delightfully easy to work with, probably because they were getting paid, but still. The girls and Jack were so excited to see the lights that night. It was really cold outside but they wanted to stay outside and admire them endlessly. Charly thinks we should call our house the 'light house' because we have 'SO MANY LIGHTS.' She is a creative one...

Letter to Jack at 1

2010-10-03T20:49:00.003-05:00

Dear Jack-

This time last year I couldn't take my eyes off the most beautiful boy I had ever seen. My head was spinning from one very intense delivery, but I was sure I was just lightheaded from falling in love so fierce and fast. I knew I would never be the same after meeting you. You turned me soft, ohhhh you did.

I finally understood the special love a Mama has for her boy. I figured out why little boys can get away with murder. "Oh, look at Jack clawing Charly's face. He is so gosh darn cute! Does anyone else notice how gently he scratches and still draws blood? He is probably going to be a Dr. That's my little BOY!" I know I am not rational, I hear myself and *consider* that I've gone crazy...but It's too late. It's done. Jack, you have me wrapped around your little finger.

Some of the activities we enjoy also display how gagaI have gone for you. I thought it was cute to chase you up the stairs and make it a 'game.' What was I thinking?! Oh, but you would understand if you could hear that giggle when I chase you up...and that naughty little grin when you turn around to see me getting close. I'm probably the only person that thinks it's cute when you crawl up to the couch and take a bite of my toe. I guess you think you are pretty cute to...cause you smile and giggle when you are going in for the bite. That laugh of yours...it's too much. It's so deep and intense. Your little baby abs are actually rock hard from all the giggling you do.

One of my favorite of your new tricks is watching you shake your head side to side when we say 'no'. Of course I have now made "no" a fun word and it's going to take a long time to make it effective again for it's real purpose. Eh, whatever....you make me smile. Discipline can come later.

You are also my first baby to keep the bottle past 1. Whatever I can do to pretend you are my sweet baby a little longer. We will give that bottle up when WE were good and ready. You just need to slow down and stop trying to steal Charly's sippy cups from her.

I am so happy to report you seem to be over your 'fear of strangers' phase. It only lasted about a week. It was a long week though, and I was scared that I had done something wrong. At 1 you are back to lunging into the arms of perfect strangers. A man is the best, even better a large man with a scary beard. The more intimidating the better for Jack! Wherever we are, you find someone to flirt with. You have your system down. First catch their eye, start working your magic eyes and grin, then start squirming and leaning towards them. You literally stick your arms out to be held by the cashier at Publix. All within in 30 seconds of meeting her.

You also love to hop around the arms of all the doting family. Everyone happily takes their turn with you. Whoever is holding you better be ready for an intense stare and some serious interaction. You are all about being connected...and entertained. Your little eyes(that I always refer to as magic), say so much. Happy, tired, curious, pissed off, unsure..it's all in your eyes. So much emotion and passion in such a little face. When you lean your arms forward to be held by someone your eyes light up with the most intense curiousity. Or maybe it's a look of "whatchya got? what are YOU going to do to entertain ME right now? C'mon, I 'm ready!" Either way, it's the greatest joy to watch you soak up everyone around you. You are a joy. You are such a handsome little boy and have us all smitten. Especially your Mama.

"I can't believe it"

2010-09-07T20:39:00.003-05:00

Charly you have been getting a little more 'mature' with your conversation. Picking up phrases and words. You still can't pronounce your r's or l's. Makes for some pretty cute conversation. Half of your conversations start with "I can't believe...." It just sounds so funny hearing that come out of your little mouth. I guess it's cute to see you so in awe of everything around you. You just "can't believe it!"

"I can't believe Ava has the same bus driver again"
"I can't believe Camp Rock is going to be on in 3 days."
"I can't believe we are going to the old gym again."
"I can't believe you bought me these shoes."

All of these statements are followed by a dramatic "I can't believe it!"

You get the picture.

Another subject that has come up on a daily, almost hourly basis, is the pillow pets. Aunt Britty bought Ava and Charly pillow pets. Some highlights to that conversation...

"Mommy, did you know pillow pets are washable? You can dry them to." (i guess she saw the commercial a few times, and took notes.)
"Mommy, can I look at the pillow pets on your computer again?"
"I can't believe Aunt Britty got me the koala bear. I can't believe she knew which one I wanted" (because YOU picked it out! remember...how you looked at the website for hours on end, trying to decide?)
"I think we should get Jack a pillow pet. I think we should get him the giraffe. maybe I could trade jack sometimes my pillow pet"

Tonight at dinner you asked me if we could ride bikes outside after dinner. I told you if you ate your dinner, maybe we could. You responded with "Let's make a deal. How bout if I eat my broccoli we can ride bikes. How bout it? Is that a good idea?" Of course you added in your signature eye squint/batting of eyelashes. Damn you are cute kid.

Back to kindergarten

2010-09-07T19:41:00.004-05:00

School is back in session and things have gone a little crazy. Not that summer wasn't crazy, this is just a whole 'nother level of crazy.

It' s been a draining couple of weeks. I have no doubt in my mind that Ava going back to kindergarten was the right decision. It was a hard one though. The stress and anxiety that came with that decision shows me that I, or *we*(as parents), put way too much pressure on ourselves. It's not a big deal, but yet it was. It was a big deal. Making the decision was so tough. All I wanted to do was put Ava inside a bubble and protect her from the whole thing. I worried, I cried. What if someone asked her why she wasn't in first grade? What if she figured out why she was going back to kindergarten? What if she started to think she wasn't smart enough, or worse good enough? On the bright side I learned real quick that this was not about me. This was not about me having the perfect, smartest, cutest, most creative child out there. This was about doing what was best for my little girl, no matter what anybody else thought. And who cares what other people think? If they know Ava, they KNOW that she is one special, smart little cookie.

So.....we finally made the decision. Ava was going back to Kindergarten. I thought the hard part was behind us, and for the most part it was. I wasn't prepared for the emotional toll the open house would take on me. That sounds a little dramatic, but it really was a draining experience. Bumping into all of her friends, having the Mom's ask me who Ava's 'first grade' teacher was. Bumping into my friends and having to explain that we were going back to kindergarten. Listening to the teacher go on and on about how everyone was going to do "so good in kindergarten so that we can all go on to first grade. Don't we all want to go to first grade?!?" NO! Stop, please stop. We just want to go back to kindergarten and pretend that this is completely normal. All I could think was 'please don't let her figure it out, please don't let her figure it out." And she didn't. She left the open house completely unscathed. Another hurdle down.

Next up was the first day. The first day of kindergarten, the 2nd time around, is a little less scary for the mom. I didn't have to worry about her finding her way around the school. Didn't have to worry about her being scared. She had the same bus driver. Didn't have to worry about her finding her bus at the end of the day.

Of course I told her she was going back to kindergarten because they needed some help from kids that have been in kindergarten already. I was a little nervous this plan might not work after the first day. I asked her how her day went and she told me "Welllllll, it was good. I didn't get to do much helping. But it was good." Oh crap, I thought. A moment of mommy bliss came the second day when she walked in the door. "Mom, I got to help today! I had to take a girl to the nurse. I knew where the nurse was and I got to take her." Ahhh...nothing like hearing my little girl getting her confidence back. Not sure who was more proud, me or her. After the first week we got a message from her teacher that we listened to together on the answering machine. I think I was a *little* teary listening to her teacher talk about what a great helper Ava was. How much she helped the other kids and was so kind and sweet to everyone. She talked about how much she loved having her in her class and how proud of her she was already. That might have been one of my top messages of all time.

A happy ending we have. It always works out. It always seems to work out. It wasn't fun, it wasn't easy, but we are on the right track. And the icing on the cake- the homework(yes they have homework) is a piece of cake the 2nd time around.

Oh Charly

2010-08-15T18:59:00.002-05:00

We just got home from a little end of summer vacation. The girls and Jack had so much fun. It was so nice to get away for a quick trip before school starts next week. On the car ride home Charly and Ava were passed out. Charly was cracking me up because she would wake up and start talking about random things and then fall back asleep. I finally figured out she was half awake/dreaming when she told me she couldn't believe all the frogs all over her, frogs everywhere. That is just a side note to the even funnier thing she said when she finally woke up.

So....Charly is just smiling away and comes out with "Mom, I had so much fun on 'bacation." Awww, she just melts me with her sweetness sometimes. I replied with something like "Me to, you girls sure are lucky to have a Mommy and Daddy who take you on so many fun vacations." She pondered that for a moment, while I waited for something even more sweet to come out of that precious little girl. She started to talk about Grandma and how much fun she had with Grandma on vacation. Ok, I thought, that's pretty sweet to. She then told me "Mom, I wish Grandma would take us on a vacation." " That would be fun!" Charly realized she wasn't getting her point across to me. "Mom, I wish Grandma would take us on a vaction by herself, .....without you." Ohhhhh, I get it. You little shit!!!!

Trouble

2010-08-07T06:33:00.004-05:00

Charly you are still trouble. You are so darn cute you can get away with a lot of it though. Last week you got a black, bloody eye. Not sure how, but I believe jumping on the bed was involved. A few days later you got a busted swollen lip. That one was from running thru the house at full speed and tripping over the 'safety gate.'

When you are doing something you KNOW you shouldn't be doing, you will look at me from the corner of your eye. I think you get a thrill from doing stuff you know will get you in trouble. On the plus side, you still have some fear. As soon as I catch you and start to yell "CHARLY GET OFF THE COUNTER!" You move so quick and respond in your little high pitched voice "Okaaaaay."

A new favorite activity for you is taking all of the sprinkles, frosting and sugars out of the cabinet. A little annoying because you make a huge mess. I was letting you get away with it for awhile just because it was keeping you entertained. Until I discovered that you were eating the sprinkles and sugars. When I say eating, I really mean throwing your head back and dumping sprinkles down your throat, as fast as you can, like a college kid doing a shot of tequila. When I catch you, you have the guiltiest look on your face. Your usual response is "i do nuffing."

Letter to Ava as you turn(ed) 6..

2010-08-01T19:34:00.005-05:00

Dear Ava-

Oh, to describe you at 6 is a challenge. The last year was definitely a year of change. The last year has shown me a much more complex, layered little person. A year ago the world was your oyster and nothing could intimidate you. These days you are showing us more. I see a shyness coming out that I am not at all familiar with. I also see you performing and entertaining a crowd as if you were born to be on stage. See- complex!!! I watched you struggle through school while you baffled me at home with your wit and wise soul. I'm not sure what side of you I will see next!

At 6 years old your favorite thing to do is perform. You love to grab a toy guitar and demand an audience. All of your songs are 'Ava originals.' I could watch and listen to your off-key voice all day. Your lyrics are hilarious, yet maybe a little disturbing. You make up the songs, literally, as you go along. The topics range from love, to fitting in, to friendships, then on to butterflies and rainbows. I am not sure if you are really that deep or if you are copying the lyrics from songs you have heard on the radio. Either way it is impressive and immensely entertaining. You will sing these self composed, on the fly, songs for 3-5 minutes and have your audience glued. You are a wise one and caught on to the 'following' you have. You are now selling 'tickets' for your shows at a buck a pop. The admission is no joke. You have your shy, timid, moments but that all goes out the window when money is on the table. Your little wallet is getting thick, you make your mama proud:)

So....school. School was a challenge this year, to put it mildly. I am still a little in shock over this because you are a SMART little cookie. You don't miss a thing. You are always listening. Apparently school was not grabbing your attention like, say, my phone conversations. I swear you are not paying attention to me when I am on the phone or talking to your Dad. But days, or even weeks later you will quote me on something I really didn't need you to hear. For a 5/6 year old you are much too interested in the adult conversations. You have this wise, mature, way about you that you have had forever. This year it just became more apparent. You are very intrigued by any conversation that should be going over your head. I think its time for me to start accepting that you are not a normal 6 year old and I need to censor myself....a little. Your eavesdropping does make for some hilarious comments. "Mommy, why were you dancing on tables at your birthday party?"

I think my favorite thing about you is your sense of humor. You have always had what I call 'comedic timing'. Charly's idea of joking around is calling someone a "bouty butt." It's cute and funny, but you have always had a sarcastic, witty sense of humor. Every year you seem to get funnier and funnier. I imagine your jokes about my "sexy panties" and your dad's "beer drinking" will start to lose their charm in a few years. For now you are truly enchanting.

So we covered performer, smarts and charm...I can't leave out your newfound sensitivity. It used to be all about 'Ava'. Something changed this year and you have found your sensitive, compassionate side. It is a joy to watch. As much as your joking is the highlight of my day, your compassionate moments literally stop me in my tracks. Probably because they are still slightly random, and adequately spaced;) When I least expect it, you will come out with the sweetest things. "Mom, I love our family. We have the best family ever. I am so glad that you are my family." or another that got me literally teary eyed(i.e. sobbing) "Mom, you know what I told Grandma yesterday? I told her that I would always love her. Even when she had no hair." If you keep this up, I can't even imagine how amazing you will be at 7. I love you. I love you SO much. One day you might just understand, how much.

I can't lie...

2010-07-20T19:29:00.003-05:00

Jack the super easy, cutest baby ever gave me a little run for my money the last month or two. Don't get me wrong, he was still a million times easier than Charly at this age. Poor little guy had 8 teeth at 9 months and I think it was a little much for him.

He is almost 10 months and it seems like he has turned a corner. He has been crawling around for a few weeks now and he loves the freedom. He also loves to crawl towards me to be picked up:-o)

Jack is finally starting to get into some solid food. The first few months were slow going. I can't say I helped the situation....days would go by and I would kind of...forget ...to feed him. He was content with the bottles, and that food is just so darn messy. Most of the time he would fight it, not fun. Now he is enjoying being able to pick up some food. Cheerios, cheetos(bad mom), banana, bread, pizza(a fave).

Jack is often referred to as 'Happy Jack.' He has this smile that just lights up his WHOLE face. He is just so engaging when you talk to him. His smile is magical, really. His giant eyes twinkle, and then those dimples. Oh my. He absolutely adores attention and rarely discriminates. He will turn on the charm for any random person. If you make eye contact with Jack, he will suck you in!!! It is a joy to watch him work his magic.

Iowa visit

2010-07-20T18:59:00.007-05:00

Things still have not calmed down around here. I want to blog but I don't even know where to begin. It has been constant go go go.

Let's see....We got back from our vacation to my parents place in Iowa last week. We had a great time and it was so much fun to see ALL of my Mom's side of the family. Flying/changing planes/renting car/ and two hour drive with 3 kids went shockingly well. I still have no desire to do it again for a very long time.

Here are some picture from the trip...

This is the road leading to my parents house-

What the heck is my daughter doing? Seriously Ava???
They couldn't get much cuter. Sleeping on the floor like this, melts my heart.
The Pabst Blue Trophy Husband. So appropriate.
Hanging out with cousins/2nd cousins.
Campfire time...

Pre-chemo/Father's Day Vacation

2010-06-24T19:35:00.008-05:00

So.... a pre-chemo vacation probably doesn't sound like much fun, right? To be honest I wasn't sure how much fun it would be. Who knew it would be a truly amazing time? As much as a cancer diagnosis sucks....it does make you enjoy the little things a whole lot more. It also helps put everything in perspective. Suddenly a whiny baby is not so annoying and a sassy toddler is actually funny.

It was a last minute trip. We booked a weekend at the brand new Marriott time-share on Marco Island. Nice and close by, easy for Grandma, Grandpa and Aunt Laura to come join us. The hotel was sooooo nice. The suite/condo room was stunning. The beach view was made even better by a huge wrap around balcony. It was the perfect distraction from the reality at home.

The kitchen was so nice. I could get very used to cooking in a kitchen that looks out to the beach!
The pool was a blast. Ava went down the slide about 300 times. Charly thought it was a little "scawy", she preferred to hang out with the lifegaurd at the top and watch the kids go down. Jack went from pool, to sling, to nap. Repeat.

We actually went out to dinner 3 nights in a row, with all 3 KIDS. This is kind of funny because anyone that knows us knows that we do NOT take the kids with us when we go out to dinner. It went surprisingly well. The girls were having so much fun they stayed on best behavior.

The restaurant at the hotel was really cool. It was open air with a beach view. It's funny how eating in 95 degree weather an actually be enjoyable when you are on vacation.

Charly cracks us up constantly with the ridiculous expressions she makes. She gets these really dramatic faces going. One of her many looks involves closing and squinting her eyes, as seen below.

All in all the trip was priceless. Spending quality time with the kids and family was something not to be taken for granted. We were enjoying our two night stay so much we extended it for an extra night. No regrets there. It was fun right until it was officially time to go.

Happy Father's Day Hun. We think you are the best thing ever. For real!

It's Cancer.

2010-06-24T18:45:00.004-05:00

Oh, where to begin. I haven't blogged in over a month. I wish I had some silly excuse like I was too busy or too tired. Nope. I actually have a really good, really horrendous reason for not updating. It was 5 weeks ago that I had that pit in my stomach and just knew something was wrong. When Grandma sent me a text that she couldn't babysit because she had a Dr'.s appt I had a bad, bad feeling. All day I thought about calling to check how the Dr. appt went. Around 2:00 I figured "Well, she hasn't called, I guess everything is ok." Nagging feeling wouldn't go away though. Around 3:00 I finally can't take it anymore and decide to call and calm my worries. Our world has not been the same since that phone call. I can't really remember the details of the conversation. I just remember hearing that the Dr.'s appt did not go good and that it was cancer. Needed to do more tests, but they were sure it was breast cancer.

It's been 5 weeks of nightmares, MRI's, PET scans, biopsies and lots of googling. The tests kept coming back and the news has just kept getting worse. The news last week that the PET scan was right and the liver biopsy was positive was probably the worst. Now the really shitty cancer has turned even shittier. The Dr. is saying stage IV, no cure, and the room is spinning. He is trying to keep us optimistic telling us that he can 'manage' the cancer. Rita is keeping her sense of humor and making this look easy. I on the other hand am breaking out in hives and requiring wine, ambien and melatonin to sleep. We are all doing our best to keep it together for her though, that is definitely what she wants and needs.

The shock and denial is starting to wear off. Things are feeling a little more in control now that the treatment has started. She started chemo yesterday and is handling it ok so far. The Dr. is optimistic that the weekly chemo treatments won't be too harsh. He confirmed the whole hair issue with a matter of fact "well, of course you'll lose your hair...." We haven't told the kids anything yet, but they do know that Grandma's hair is going to fall out. They think this is pretty interesting and keep asking me when it's going to happen. She got a cute, short hair do in preparation and the girls are not impressed. They want her long hair back...or they want no hair at all.

Our world has forever changed. We will get through this though, we have no choice. I don't think anything could suck more than Cancer. I really don't. It's not fair. Not fair at all. What can we do? All we can do right now is squeeze each other a little tighter and laugh a LOT more and appreciate the joys we do have every day. Charly is suddenly funnier than ever, Jack is out of control cute and we are in constant awe of what Ava is doing. The kids have obviously not changed, but we have. As much as this month has been a blur, we have had some really amazing moments of complete clarity.

So much has happened in the last 5 weeks besides for the whole cancer nightmare. Life must go on, especially with 3 little ones. I am going to attempt to add a few posts with some of the things I missed recently. Ava and Charly had their big dance recital, Ava graduated from kindergarten, Jack finished his survival swim class and we even went on a mini vacation.

Ava you are....mostly sweet...

2010-05-09T13:05:00.003-05:00

Ava you have had some really sweet moments lately. This week was fun because you were bringing home different things from school for me that you made(for Mother's Day). My favorite was probably the coupons. You made me a coupon for kisses, 'cuddels' and make the bed. You were so excited about them. You told me that once I redeemed them you would give them back to me and I could keep reusing them. Melt my heart, you did. The cuddles one was my favorite. I used that one this morning. You sat next to me on the couch, hugging my and stroking every part of my body. All with the biggest, most proud smile on your face. Not sure who enjoyed that one more. I will most definitely be redeeming that one again.

You also made me a GIANT flower pin. For me to wear. It's the size of my head. You are making sure it gets plenty of use. "mom, don't you want to wear your pin?" I'm not complaining...it says "I love you Mom." I will wear it proudly my sweetie pie!

This morning when I walked downstairs you and Charly both burst out with a big "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!" It was a great start and you told me about 12 more times in the next 10 minutes. I guess it got old quick. At about 11 minutes in you asked "when is it going to be kid's day. There should be a kid's day."

Did you say alligator?

2010-05-04T16:39:00.002-05:00

We have been to a few birthday parties lately and two of them have had pony's to ride. You both love a pony ride, but I guess it is getting a little old to you Charly. You came up with this out of nowhere!

"Mommy, I'm going to have an aweigator(alligator) at my berfday party."
I had no idea she was saying 'alligator.' Not to mention it wasn't the first animal that came to mind when you are thinking of a kids birthday party entertainment. You went on and on, as you like to lately.
"he's a real awegator, but he's nice. he gonna take us on wides(rides)." "he gonna take us on wides in the water. we gonna pet him!"

Jack 7 months today

2010-05-03T21:34:00.004-05:00

My baby is HUGE. Jack- you are so tall and you have such chubby legs. I really think you are the same size as the 1 year old's you know. I gotta admit, its a little annoying. You have been wanting to be held more lately and you are SO heavy. Even though you are the size of a 1 year old, you don't 'carry' yourself like that. You are all relaxed and make me do all the work.

You have turned up the cuteness a few notches. Thought it wasn't possible. The giggling/shrieking is just out of control cute. A stranger just has to catch your eye and you will be giving them the full face smile that is your signature. If they start talking to you, well, then you will really light up. The eyes will start twinkling and then that giggle.

Enough nice stuff. I am still beyond annoyed with your lack of a schedule. Apparently you didn't get the memo about having naps figured out by now. Most of the time you fall asleep okay, but I still never know how long it will be. And I can pretty much forget about any fantasy about you falling asleep when we are out and about. It's your bed or nothing. Ok, sometimes the car....but even that is not a sure thing. You are super cute now in your bed though. When I lay you down you will kick and smile. Then you will grab on to your blankie and just start molesting it. Sometimes you will even suck your thumb. It seems like you only suck your thumb at bedtime. I love it, adore it. Wish you would do it more so I could watch you all the time.

Craziness lately

2010-05-03T20:59:00.006-05:00

Ava was not feeling too hot this day. Obviously I'm not letting that ruin a good bikini shot of me;)

Things have been way too busy lately. We have been on the go for the last month and are pretty packed for the next month. The craziness started with our trip to Vegas in April. 4 nights and 5 days and I can honestly say I didn't get a chance to miss the kids until the plane flight home. And by that point I wasn't sure I was in any position to care for 3 kids. We got home, had the big reunion, within 15 minutes I decided "it's time to put them to bed, ALL of them." The rest of the week was pretty much the same theme. By the weekend we were starting to get back in the swing of things and it was already time to pack for the cruise. The Mommy and Daddy in Las Vegas.

The cruise was a blast. The girls did not even want to get off the ship to hit the ports. Between, the pool, kids club, and sharing a 157 square foot cabin with us, they were in heaven. Mom and Dad were thoroughly enjoying the convenience of the kids club and left you girls in it until the late night. We were sure you would pass out, but nope. You were both wide awake and ready to go when we picked you up at 11:30. One night you were hungry so we ended up at the buffet at Midnight. We thoroughly enjoyed our evenings out, but we PAID for it the next day. I have never heard such crankiness. By nap time you would both pass out and we would have to wake you around 5 or 6. One day Charly fell out of the bed in her sleep. I heard the fall, but found her face down on the ground still sleeping. WOW. That is pretty damn tired.

So...... we are not home from the cruise for a day and I am already hearing "when we going to go back on bacation, when we goin on a cwuise?" That was obviously Charly, but Ava chimed in to. I really didn't even want to tell you little spoiled brats that we are actually going on another "bacation." I have decided to use it as leverage. I am not sure if it's my patience/stress level, or if you two are really turning into trouble. I do know I can't take it! So my new technique when the whining, fighting, not getting dressed, drama starts- I threaten "do you want to go to Disney WORLLLLD. or NOT????" Threaten, scream. Whatever. It seems to be working. All I know is I need to get my control back, stat.

So, I can hardly believe that this Disney trip is sneaking up so quick. We will *almost* have 2 weeks between the two trips. I think we will be ready for more fun by then:) I am sure it will be magical, as it always is when we go. This time we are meeting Aunt Laura and Uncle Chris and hopefully Grandma and Grandpa.

That is pretty much why I have been slacking on the blogging. When I finally get a chance to sit down on the couch I just want to turn my brain off!!! I am going to try and post a few pics from the cruise and some short updates, try and get back in the swing of things.

Don't sweat the small stuff

2010-04-11T19:41:00.005-05:00

I think the craziness lately is catching up with me. I just feel so busy all of the sudden, like I can't keep up. I have hardly even blogged. Of course I feel guilty about that. The little incident today though evoked a strange Mommy guilt that I had not yet experienced.

I am on the phone with my Mom around 10:50 going over plans for this week(we head to Vegas on Thursday). I was remembering to tell her that she needed to take the girls to dance class this week. I started to tell her about the dates for the show...and then BAM it hit me. DANCE PICTURES. "OMG, the pictures...they are TODAY. OMG I gotta go. Crap- the girls are at Rita's." I rush to the computer to check the times. Charly's pictures start in exactly 4 minutes. My stomach sank. Then I felt the tears. Why in the hell am I crying over this? My brain was racing trying to figure out if I could get a hold of Grandma quick enough to make it to Ava's pictures in 45 minutes. Nope, not going to happen. Yes, I probably could have made it, but the hair, the tights, the everything was not going to happen. So I cried. I felt like a FAILURE. How did I screw this up?

I was starting to pull it together.... and in walks Karl from a morning of golf. As soon as I opened my mouth the tears started again. I blubbered out something along the lines of "I just realized ......." and the look of fear on his face *kind* of put it in perspective. He looked like I was going to tell him that someone had died. After I blurted out " I totally forgot about the girls recital pictures. How did I forget this, I even talked to Caryn about it on Thursday. I even told her I would do Kaitlyn's hair. I can't believe I forgot." He put his hand to his heart, let out the biggest sigh I have ever heard...... and this is what he said.... " OH god, I thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant." Of course I couldn't help but laugh, but quickly tried to steer him back to what a horrible mother I was. He wanted to hear none of it, he was much to busy being thankful that I was not with child. I cried, he smiled and laughed like he just won the lottery.

I don't know what the point of this story is. I just kind of felt like I needed to write it out because the whole thing is strange to me. I am not one to get so emotional over something like this, I am still trying to figure out why it hit such a spot with me. I have to gather that my meltdown was more about being disappointed in myself than it was the disappointment that the kids are not going to be in the program or have that recital photo. Really, who wants to hang that picture on the wall? I am pretty sure I don't need an 8x10 of Ava in her hot pink snake skin leotard hanging in my living room. I am also pretty sure that Ava and Charly will never figure out that the pictures even happened. I am very sure that I have more money left in my wallet then the good Mom's that 'remembered' to take their kids to pictures today. You can't be pressured into buying a photo package if you don't show up for the photo!

But still...

I feel like I failed a little. Like I didn't do my job as a Mom. I feel like it is my job to keep this whole ship moving along no matter how rocky....or busy it gets. I feel like today I didn't do that and I am mad at myself. I know that the night spent at Grandma's with Aunt Laura in town was much better spent then taking a group shot with a bunch of kids we hardly know. I know this, yet I still feel like I wasn't quite good enough today.

I just have this constant feeling lately like their isn't enough time in the day. Which I know is ridiculous. In fact I have been one to get annoyed when people use the whole "not enough time in the day" line. Because, really, what is so important to pack our days with? We should all slow down and just enjoy the fun of the day to day. Yet, I am falling into that rut. It seems like my mind is constantly racing to figure out if I fit everything in that I needed to that day. Did I make sure to practice Ava's sight words with her? Did I read them at least one story? Did I actually sit and play with Jack? Did I make them something healthy to eat? Did they brush their teeth? Did I get dinner started for tomorrow? Oh, wait we haven't even had dinner today. Where do i need to pick Ava up from tomorrow(bus stop, club, or tutoring...or is she at Grandma's tomorrow?) When did I make Jack's Dr. appt for? Crap....I need to throw Ava's uniform in a load of laundry for school tomorrow.

It just feels like a little too much all the sudden. Like one person can't possibly hold all of this together. Disclaimer- Karl is the MOST helpful, wonderful father and husband I could ever dream of. BUT- we all know that the bulk of "remembering" falls on the mother. And I am also very aware that I would have it no other way. Clearly I am the control freak..... that is a little out of control. If I was in a job interview for the position of being "mom", and they asked me that sneaky question "What would you say your biggest flaw is?" I would truthfully answer "Trying to be perfect. Trying so hard to be perfect and trying to do it all." And they would smile and say "You're hired! YOU are just what we were looking for." And the truth is that trying to be the perfect mother is not doing me or these little ones a damn bit of good. It's not a contest, it's not a race. Ahhh... what is the moral of this story? I think I know the moral. I think I am just too tired to articulate it. Something along the lines of stopping to smell the roses or enjoying the simple things. Or maybe something about not sweating the small stuff. That is actually a really good one. Okay, that's it. "DON"T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF." I think I might need to plug that into my iphone as a daily reminder, since I can't remember anything lately. Yep, that is what I am going to do. But tonight I am going to go to bed and remember that I don't have to be perfect to be the perfect mother. It's not all about me after all.

Easter

2010-04-06T18:17:00.002-05:00

Sneaky little booger

2010-03-29T21:09:00.003-05:00

Of course, by the title, anyone that knows the Pabst children knows this is going to be about Charly. Yep, I gotta give that kid credit though. She is quick on her feet, always ready with the cutest, most innocent defense when questioned. Charly got moved back to her bedroom about a month ago. Between her endless chatter, potty breaks and late night book reading she was keeping Ava up too late. Occasionally she sweet talks her Daddy and he lets them sleep together.

Last night when I went up to bed I noticed Charly was sleeping on her toddler bed in Ava's room. I asked Karl if he knew why she was in there. He had no clue. No harm done, they were both sleeping peacefully. And how could you possible be mad at a sleeping baby? There is just nothing sweeter.

The next morning I was curious to get the scoop from Little Ms. She walked down the stairs all bubbly joy. She looked guilty. She was way too smiley for Charly in the morning.

I asked- "Charly- why were you sleeping in Ava's room last night?"

She genuinely looked shocked that I somehow knew.

Charly(incredibly quick on her feet)- "I hurd a scawy noise. I was heawing noises so I had to go to Ava's room."

She went on to further melt my heart with this little bit "Mommy, how did you see me? i used two bwankets, and I was hiding so you wouldn't see me in Ava's room. I just sneaked in and then covered my face with my two bwankies. I didn't see you Mommy, how did you see me?"

It was cute, super cute, as most of our conversations are these days. I guess you realized how effective the "scawy noise" bit was. Apparently you used it on your Dad tonight. I just went upstairs to peak on all my sleeping babies and once again you were nowhere to be found. When your father was questioned on your whereabouts he quickly defended you and your case..."she heard a scary noise. She was scared it was really cute."

The wonder weeks

2010-03-29T20:25:00.003-05:00

Apparently these wonder weeks are no joke. You are probably wondering what the heck the wonder weeks are. The wonder weeks are a mommy secret, only to be shared with an elite group of moms. Not the kind of information they give out in parenting classes, or books. Not something your Mom knows all about, but forgot to tell you. Nope, your Mom has no idea what the wonder weeks are. I had no idea what the wonder weeks were until I popped out my third kid. Despite my frustration with this, it really wouldn't have made much difference. The wonder weeks theory is more peace of mind then it is helpful.

So...the idea behind these ellusive wonder weeks is....8 weeks during your babies first year when they are going through a developmental leap. Makes sense. During these weeks baby will be more needy, clingy and crabby. And thats all! In defense of the wonder weeks, I haven't actually read the book. But, from what I gather in my mad google searches is that once you know when the weeks are you can give your baby some extra comfort during the fussy week. I suppose this is fairly helpful. Gives me slightly more patience, makes me question leaving you to cry it out for nap time. For the most part as a mom, if your baby is extra crabby you kind of have no choice but to hold them more and give them extra comfort.

For ME, the most exciting part about my discovery of the wonder weeks is that when a fussy period comes I KNOW it is going to end. That alone gives me the encouragement to just get through it.

I truly, truly am a believer. Jack is a happy baby. Bubbly joy most of the time. Crabby when he is tired or hungry. He couldn't care less if his diaper was never changed. I had discovered the 'wonder weeks' awhile back and made a mental note to watch for them. Well, that never happened. What DID happen though was a random fussy baby. Hmmm, Jack is really fussy and sleeping crappy, what could it be? Dr. says teething to get me out of the office. Home to google the wonder weeks. I counted up Jack's age by weeks and found him to have just turned 19 weeks. It was like pure sunshine pouring from my computer screen, I saw that week 19 was the 4th wonder week. Praise the lord. My baby isn't turning into a cranky monster for good! It's temporary. It lasted a week, and as soon as it came, it was gone. Yay.

On to this week. The last couple of days Jack has been a bit fussier, taking short naps and even waking at night again. He just got two teeth and doesn't seem to be as bothered by that issue. I had been wracking my mommy brain to try and figure out what could be up with him. That was when I remembered the wonder weeks. Before I even looked up the wonder weeks calendar I went to my calendar and counted his age by weeks. 26 weeks he was. Google the wonder weeks and what do I find? The 5th wonder week, after 19, is 26. Ne freakin way! So, I am now a believer. A real believer. So, what now? I will break out the sling and carry all 18 lbs of Jack around. I will dig deep and find my cool, calm self. I will smile and play and try my darndest to not get frustrated with you this week, my sweet baby Jack. Who is not so sweet at the moment, but still cute as can be.

The painter

2010-03-27T14:55:00.003-05:00

You got this art set for your birthday and you love it.
Charly, you love to paint. You will sit for hours painting your masterpieces. By the end you have so many coats of paint I really have no idea what it is supposed to be. Your beaming face, full of pride, is priceless.

A house of your own

2010-03-27T14:37:00.003-05:00

Last year you girls begged and begged for this house from costco. I finally convinced your Dad right around the time it went on sale. When I went back it was gone. So, when Costco got it back this year I wanted it...I mean you guys wanted it. The timing fell perfectly with my costco rebate check. Clearly it was meant to be. Not on sale yet, but still a costco bargain.
We decided to set it up in the garage/playroom.
Charly, you are making me a little nervous with the head through the basketball hoop move. Please don't jump. Actually, no more standing on the window sill. Or....if you really must stand in the window ledge, don't put your head through the hoop.

When I was a little girl I would have killed for this house. I knew better then to even ASK for something like it. You guys should thank Nonna and Papa for never getting us one. I am most definitely trying to live out my childhood fantasies through you.

Fruit! video added

2010-03-19T18:36:00.001-05:00

Today we took a little trip to the fruit stand. The man that works there has a crush on you. He gives you the strawberries to sample and you don't hold back. You attack that strawberry like I would if it was a brownie sundae. I had to pull the leaves off before you swallowed the whole thing.

You begged for a 'pineapple'. No pineapples to be found at the fruit stand. I looked and looked trying to figure out what fruit looked like a pineapple. I finally figured out you were calling the watermelon a pineapple. Strange, considering you haven't had pineapple in a long time. Also strange considering they look nothing alike. I couldn't say no to the 'pineapple' so we bought one. In the car on the way home you were telling me all about the pineapple. "mom, the pineapple has peanuts in it. You don't eat the peanuts though. You can eat the peanuts if you want to though." Seeds=peanuts. Took me a second to figure that one out. Well, 1/2 a second. I have mastered Charly jargon.

When we got home you wanted some of the 'pineapple.' You sat at the counter and practically made love to that slice of watermelon. Your eyes were practically rolling back in your head with each bite. Quite entertaining to watch! It wasn't even a good watermelon....I wonder what

kind of show I would have got if it was.

Birthday Fun

2010-03-18T21:00:00.003-05:00

I think you had a great day today. You spent the day with Grandma having nothing but fun. When I got home from work I walked into a live performance. You were on the stage(ottoman) belting out "all the single ladies" and trying to dance to it at the same time. Quite a site to see! We ate pizza and put some candles on some homemade chocolate chip cookies. I am not much of a fan of cake. If I play my cards right you might start to believe this is the norm for a birthday.

We got you a panda bear that moves, talks, and takes a bottle. It is called a 'furreal' pet. Of course I told you it was real and I think you believe me. You took the panda to bed with you tonight, of course. I guess the Panda didn't want to sleep. You were beyond exhausted, but when I went upstairs around 9:00 I could hear the panda still making noises. I peaked in and you looked a bit weary..."Mommy, my panda doesn't want to go to sweep." You were holding him which was setting off his sensor. I took the panda and put him in his own bed so everyone could get some sleep. When I went back to check on you a few minutes ago you were sitting up asleep! You must have crashed instantly. I am so glad I checked on you. Your neck would have been so sore if you slept with it bent forward all night. It was very cute though:) Of course that damn panda woke up when I went in, you were so out though, you didn't hear a thing. I guess we can call it a Birthday success!

Charly turns 3. Couldn't get any cuter if you tried.

2010-03-17T21:00:00.003-05:00

Letter to Charly as you turn 3....

Dear Charly,

This past year I fell so in love with you. I was obviously in love with you before, but this year I just fell head over heels. You charmed me and everyone around you. You learned to talk and everything just came together. That little voice and the things that come out of your little mouth bring the biggest smile to my face. You have this crazy ability to make my whole body smile. I can't count the times a day that I turn to your Dad, smiling ear to ear, to see if he heard what you just said. He is usually shaking his head chuckling. It's just joy. You are just a joy.

I have started to get a little crazy with the video camera. I just can't get enough of you and your personality right now. I want to bottle up this joy and save it forever. You opening your mouth=best video footage. You make me LAUGH. You make me SMILE. You make me HAPPY. I hope the numerous videos of you will help me to always remember how you made me feel when you were two. Even when you are telling me to "take that camwa(camera) off my face," I will be smiling. In the spirit of brutal honesty, you have also taught me PATIENCE. I didn't know I
could be this patient, I really didn't.

Charly video-

*I had no idea how horrid your voice was until today. Still learning new things about you. It all adds to your charm, my dear. My sweetie pie*

I think you are starting to look more like me and less like your Aunt Britty. I still hear that you look like her from complete strangers.....but....every now and then, you look at me with a certain grin and I see a snapshot of me as a child. It's really, really neat. And fun. You really are a gorgeous little girl and I'm not just sayin that because I'm your Mom. I'm very serious! Your eyes, skin, smile. It is a stunning package. That silky blond hair and cute round butt. You are toddler girl perfection.

And, you are not just another pretty face. This past year I found out that you are one smart cookie. Out of nowhere came independent Charly "I do it all by myself!" You are smart though, and when it is out of your league you have no shame in requesting help. I am shocked by the things you attempt to do by yourself and manage. If you want water, you are dragging a stool to the counter to reach the glasses, and then to the refrigerator to fill it up. Your independent nature has crossed over to the bathroom. You think you are more than capable of wiping your own butt. Your underwear tell a different story.

Approaching 3 years old I have noticed an impressive ability to manipulate. (Spoken like a true mother whose child can do no wrong.) If you have snuck out of your room too many times, and see 'the look' on my face, you will quickly spit out "Mommy, i fowgot(forgot) to kiss you and tell you I wuv you." All while those big blue eyes are working their sweet magic on me. When you want a cookie or bubblegum, you have learned just how to bat your eyelashes and what to say. "Can I just have a widdle(little) cookie, just a widdle one. pease, pease. CAN I, CAN I? How bout free(three) widdle cookies?" I am a sucker for you, and I am not usually a sucker. Don't get me wrong, you have a few lines that I am sooo completely over. "You make me sad, you make me saaaad mommy." This one is followed by the most fake cry ever. It might sound cute here, but I hear it every.single. day. It lost it's charm real quick. Especially considering you like to use it when YOU are being a total brat and I decide to discipline you.

In the last couple months I have watched you change before my eyes. Six months ago you were still my baby, my little toddler girl. All the sudden you grew 3 feet, cut a new hairdo(yourself), and started talking like a big girl. I liked 2 on you. I even said I would freeze you at this age if I could. Well, apparently I can't. So I will pout and be sad, in true Charly fashion. I will also be incredibly excited because I just love birthdays and an excuse to make you feel special. In the spirit of pouting though.....see below....

Things I really don't like about you turning 3...

- I am petrified that you will learn how to pronounce your L's and your R's. Life just won't be the same without an "I wuv you Mommy." or "sawweee(sorry) Mommy, I happy now."
- I am afraid 3 means you might stop napping. You are showing some bad signs of dropping the nap and I am really not okay with that at all. Charly needs sleep. Charly with no sleep=monster.
- I thought you were going to be my child that I could dress cute forever. Just last week you insisted on wearing the 'Ariel' shirt. it looks like this is going to be the year that you want to dress yourself in horrid Disney apparel and unmatching tops and bottoms. It's all downhill from here.
- When you are having one of your 'moments' of meltdown, bratty madness, I can't blame it on the terrible two's. I can't shrug it off and blurt out "she's two," as people stare.
- I don't want you to learn the correct words for things, and I am afraid it might just happen this year. I am afraid you might figure out that it is called a JAcuzzi and not a "coosie." That Jack is not "Jackie." That your name is 'Charly,' not 'Chawee.' That you want a ring, not a "wing." That you are now three, not "free."
- I am afraid that you will figure out that "sweetie pie" is what I call you and not vice versa. The first time you called me your 'sweetie pie,' I just crumbled. Nothing cuter than your 2 year old calling you a sweetie pie.

Enough depressing talk.

"you so funny"

You my little girl are so funny. I hope you continue to tell me "you so funny." It makes me smile every time. Some things just don't get old. I look forward to the next year, watching your intense, vibrant personality develop even more. I look forward to seeing just how funny you are. I see your ability to make people laugh coming through. I can't wait to watch as you entertain us all this year. I will be watching. I will always be watching you, from the front row. You are a magnet. I am drawn to you, always waiting to hear what is going to come out next. You rarely disappoint and I do not want to miss a thing.

And don't forget, I love you more.

Love,

Your mom

A tooth, a tooth! We have a tooth!

2010-03-17T18:50:00.003-05:00

I don't know why the first tooth is so incredibly exciting, but it is. It's just a tooth for god sakes. Any parent would agree though, there is just something special about that first tooth, or the first 4. After the first 4 you don't even bother checking for the others. Diminishing marginal utility I think they call it. I think it has to do with the amount of effort that goes into that first tooth. The crying, the whining, the tylenol, the teething tablets the oragel. The vain attempts to calm the fussy teething baby. The fear that it really isn't teething at all. The scary thoughts that your baby is just cranky! We need a tooth, we need a tooth to confirm that you are the worlds greatest baby, you just have moments of teething weakness. Completely forgiveable....as long as the tooth comes!

You have been teething like crazy. Chewing on things, drooling all over your clothes and me. Ironically this week you have been really pleasant. I was not expecting to see a tooth for a little while.....

Well, this morning I took you and Charly to the gym daycare. You were happy as a clam until I put you in the dreaded carseat. You let out a good scream and I saw a glimpse of something. Thinking out loud, I said "is that a tooth, I think I saw a tooth?!?" Mrs. Diane, the 70 year old babysitter with the sweet englsih accent, answered my thought "oh, yes. he does. I saw it earlier." She was genuinely excited, not realizing that it was clearly unacceptable for her to notice the tooth before me. So...you have your first tooth, not exactly sure when it made it's debut, but I found it today and I am super excited. Diane probably saw it last week when you were there and was kind enough not to share that tidbit:) I think the other 3 will not be far behind. Your gums look puffy and you can not keep your hands out of your mouth. The drool is just obscene. I had to change your clothes twice today purely due to drool. It's all worth it now though. Woo hoo Jack- we have a tooth! The first tooth came at approximately 5 1/2 months. I would say exactly 5 1/2 months, because that is your age today, but I really don't know how long that little tooth has been there.

Things just change overnight, literally

2010-03-03T20:55:00.004-06:00

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly my mental state and the mental state of my children can change.....over night. sometimes in an hour.

yesterday i wrote about my lovely baby jack. hahaha. not so lovely since then. i'd like to blame it on some kind of illness but i can't find a darn thing wrong with you. you woke up all night long. that sucked. i figured today you would be so tired that you might actually take some long naps. HA again. not only did you not want to nap, but you didn't want to eat. i laid you down for nap, you screamed. bloody murder. i go get you after i can't stand it any longer and you smile at me. the logical part of me says obviously nothing is wrong with you if you are smily and bubbly after i rescue you, but the soft side of me thinks you don't normally act like this, something must be wrong. i don't know. i hope it's a quick phase because i miss my sweet baby.

it didn't help that Charly was being a little monster on top of it. she napped in the car for 10 minute, which sabotaged her afternoon nap. oh, the dreaded 10 minute car nap seems so innocent and peaceful. it is actually the worst thing that an happen to a two year old. by 4:00 the mood starts turning sour and by 6:00 things just get ugly.

ava came off the bus all smiles. got in the car and BURST into tears because she left her bird art on the bus. she sobbed as she told me "i worked really hard on that bird though." i have a little sympathy in me and tried to reassure her that it would be on the bus tomorrow, or worst case we could make another one. Nope. she wanted nothing to do with that talk. she wanted to cry and be dramatic, yet i think she really felt that way. needless to say I lost my patience with that whole conversation real quick. against my better judgement i decided we needed to work on homework. that didn't go so smoothly. you know when the whole eraser has been used after about 15 minutes that it is time to take a break.

whew. it's over. new day please.

Jack 5 months

2010-03-02T21:14:00.004-06:00

5 months old. Soooo not okay with this. 4 months i felt like you were tipping on the scales of no longer being a newborn. i could still say I "just had a baby." as in denial as i like to be, i can't deny that 5 months is close to 6 months and 6 months is 1/2 way to a year. enough depressing talk. but i really am depressed over it. you are my last and i just don't want it to go so fast. mostly because i really enjoy you. not that i didn't enjoy your sisters, it is just so different this time. a little boy. a happy boy. and my last baby.

you are getting so big. growing out of all your 3-6 month clothes. i haven't said this out loud...but i have entertained the thought of putting you on a little diet to try and keep you little, a little longer. i thought better of it and realize it really doesn't make a difference. big or small i love you the same. it's the time, the speed of everything that needs to be put on a diet.

tonight charly was refusing to go to bed. on her 12th visit downstairs she said "mommy, jackie's cryin. he's cryin." turns out she was right this time. you had your leg stuck between the crib bars:( i figured we might as well give you your evening bottle a little early. you didn't really want to eat though. you wanted to play. you were just all smiles entertaining us. i do love those nights when you wake up before i have gone to bed(off limits once I am asleep, obviously:) it's like i get a little bonus jack for the day. a few extra smiles and cuddles to end the day in bubbly perfection. you did finally end up drinking your bottle...once i figured out that you would only drink it if i held you so that you could watch the tv. that was a new one!

I'm excited, I am. I love all the new things that will come with 5 months. But part of me just wants to run and scream NOOOOOOOOOOO. STOP. and then fall to the floor crying because i know i can't stop this. so i might be being a little dramatic, but that it how i am feeling today. Confused, happy, and yet very sad about my baby turning 5 months.

the cuddly bunny book

2010-02-28T05:52:00.003-06:00

we have been working very hard on your writing and reading. the reading is pretty much non-existent, but its time to start tackling that. i saw these little books online where you can put your childs head into the book. one of the books was called cuddly as a bunny. i KNEW this would be perfect for you. you like to play this crazy bunny game. it invloves you being a cute, cuddly little bunny whose parents got run over by a car and were ....killed. it's such a sweet little game:) you tell me everything i have to say and get very annoyed if i don't say my *lines* correctly. "No mommy you were supposed to say 'hey cute little bunny, do you want to come live with me because your parents are dead?" i don't really love this game. but when i saw this book, that you could be the star of, i had to make you one.

the book came and it is super cute. your little face on all the animal bodies. it's a short little book so my goal is to teach you to read it. i told you i had a surprise for you since you were doing such a good job at learning to read. you were all smiles when i read the book to you the first time. then i decided to let you try and read the book to me. that was painful. i was actually impressed with the pages you had clearly memorized. you would pretend like you were reading it but you were clearly going on memory. your memory is pretty darn good!

the next conversation we had is really the reason this whole story made the blog. i'm a little sad over it. there is something about a 5 year old. something about a kindergartner. they still have that dorky, cute little kid thing going on. they don't really know whats *not cool*, they still think their mom and dad are the coolest thing ever. so when i excitedly told you "I have an idea! how about when you can read this book ALL by yourself you take it to your class and read it for everybody," i was not ready for your response. you gave e a nervous giggle and said "mom, i can't take this book to school and have all the kids see me dressed up as a bunny in this book." you looked at me like i was crazy and that you would be mortified.

over the course of the day i took it all in. and it just got worse. it made me think about all the other things that you will be getting too old for. okay, so i couldn't really think of any. but i just KNOW they are coming. i don't want you to get beat up at school for bringing in a book of you as a cuddly bunny and i am proud of you for figuring out that your mother was about to sabotage your reputation. but, i am a little bit sad. a little sad that my little girl is not only getting bigger but also growing out of that young innocent kid that will do anything their mother says.

Sorry Charly

2010-02-26T19:00:00.002-06:00

Sorry Charly...but you are going back to the guest room. you have been sharing a room with Ava for about 2 months now. it started off going pretty well. as to be expected things started taking a turn for the worse right around the time i bragged to courtney how good you guys were at staying in your room and such. literally the next day you started randomly waking early, screaming in the mornings, and coming out of the room. *never tell your sleep deprived friend how good your kids sleep.* damn karma.

this past week you have woken up the whole house before 6:00 about 3 times. unacceptable. this morning was the last straw. at 6:00 i hear you crying and literally screaming your little head off. i was up to go to the bathroom so i walked over to see what *exacty* was pissing you off so much:) "ava's leg is touching me. ava you hurt ME. AVA YOU HURT MY FEELINGS." so now Ava is wide awake, i am wide awake, karl is wide awake....and YOU fell back to sleep. at least today your screaming fit didn't wake jack. it's nonsense! i have a baby that is sleeping beautifully through the night...but my almost 3 year old is waking EVERYONE up before the sun has rose.

so tonight you are back in the guest bedroom. back on the little toddler bed on the floor. sorry, i tried. i thought it would be great fun to share a room with your big sister. i even felt guilty that you didn't have a *real* room. ha! i'm over it. i'm ready to start sleeping in a little bit. i'm looking forward to putting you both to bed without having to remind you over and over "no talking." it's going to be a beautiful thing. ava will be MUCH more well rested without you keeping her up until 9:00 and waking her at 6:00. you will hopefully start sleeping better again. i will obviously be happy to get an extra hour in the morning. we will revisit the "room sharing" in a few months. until then....sorry charly.

nothing like losing the first tooth

2010-02-25T19:53:00.005-06:00

so today was a special, special day. my sweet little girl lost her first tooth. to make it even more special than the normal losing of the first tooth, i got to be a part of it. i was part of the moment, and it couldn't have been any better.

thursdays are the crazy day because ava has dance class. it's a mad dash to get ready and out the door looking all ballerinaesque. putting on the tights is always a challenge.....tonight was no different. we struggled, ava giggled as she couldn't get her feet in. i was just about to get impatient with her complete inability to get her foot in the freakin hole, when i took a deep breath and decided to just go with the moment. she wasn't whining or complaining she was just being goofy. so she giggled and wiggled and couldn't get her foot in the hole. i kept telling her she needed to sit down to do it, but she was still having too much fun balancing on one foot as i held the tights and tried desperately to figure out how to get this done. inevitably she lost her balance and fell into me, her face into my shoulder. i caught her in my arms and stood her up. she was all smiles but something didn't look right. i looked to her face and asked her if she was okay. she was fine, but something was off. i looked down and her hand was outstretched, like at church when you are going for communion. right there in the palm of her hand was the tiniest little tooth. her tooth, right there in her hand.

from here things just got more silly. i was so excited. "ava you lost your tooth! look in your hand, look in your hand!!! did you know it fell out? how did it land in your hand?" really though, how did that little tooth fall out and happen to land in the palm of her hand? it's just weird. she smiled and giggled, and told me how she didn't even know it fell out and that it didn't even hurt. we were both giddy and happy with this big milestone. nothing like seeing your little girl smile the biggest toothless smile as blood pours out of her mouth. oh...it was a special. that sounds sarcastic, but really it was just so cool. one moment i never want to forget. hence the extremely long description of the event. i am feeling so lucky to be part of that moment. so glad it wasn't daddy, or your teacher who got to be there. so glad that you didn't lose it in your sleep and swallow it or something boring like that. so glad you knocked your tooth out on my shoulder and i got to be part of you losing your first tooth.

as all blissful moments with children are, it was fleeting. your tooth losing ectasy quickly turned to tears when you realized losing your tooth at home meant you didn't get to wear the special "tooth necklace" at school. you have been telling me about this necklace for a few weeks now. you describe it like the necklace from the titanic. i tried to comfort you by telling you that you will probably lose your next tooth at school and get to wear the necklace. you told me that you probably won't lose your next tooth until 6th grade and you don't get to wear the tooth necklace when you are in 6th grade. you are so dramatic and so clearly my daughter. as all meltdowns with children are, it was fleeting. you soon convinced yourself that maybe you would lose your next tooth when you were 6 and not in *6th grade*, and then you could still wear the tooth necklace.

the direction quickly turned to the tooth fairy. daddy noted that he better send the tooth fairy an email reminder to make sure he remembered to come. mommy agreed that would be an excellent idea. off you ran to your room to put your little toooth under the pillow.

at dinner you so kindly reminded us about "all the money" that the tooth fairy was going to bring. when i asked you how much money, you quickly replied with "probably like 10 dollars." really? i thought the tooth fairy only brought like.... 2 dollars. "daddy, how much money do YOU think the tooth fairy brings?" karl agreed that he thought it was only one ore two dollars. you laughed a nervous, uncertian laugh..."i don't think it's only..... 2." you were smiling but your eyes were so serious, like 2 dollars would be a joke to you. i wish i had that conversation on video because i just don't know how to capture it in words. you don't even know what 10 dollars can buy, you surely don't know that 2 dollars is no good. that conversation was almost as good as the whole tooth losing moment. so i think 3 is going to be the number, but to me that first tooth was priceless.

Oh Charly

2010-02-21T18:23:00.002-06:00

What happened today normally wouldn't embarrass me at all. It was the circumstances. The fact that we knew no one at this birthday party.

To set the scene....Karl was golfing so I had all 3 of you kids to myself at a birthday party in the park. Jack had been getting really fussy so I finally decided to give him a bottle and he was happily drinking it. This was when you told me you had to go potty. I asked you if you could wait until I was done feeding Jack. You nodded your head and continued on eating your hotdog.

A few minutes have passed and my brain has totally forgot that you ever had to pee. So, when you asked "mommy, can I go over there?", I never considered you meant *go* as in pee. I told you sure. Then you asked if you could "go in the grass." Again I said "sure, of course you can go in the grass." We're at the park, thats what you do at the park! Go play in the grass kid.

Off you head into the grass to *play.* Nope you were probably busy pulling your little pants down. You were behind me so I had no idea. Around this same time a little boy fell in the grass and it looked pretty bad. Everyone turned to see if he was okay. Everyone. Your timing was really impeccable. Then everyone burst into laughter. There you were sitting in the grass, legs spread wide open to the crowd with your pee streaming into the air.

You were not one bit phased by the drama that followed. You just shrugged "But i had to go pee pee." On the bright side, I had no idea where the nearest bathroom was. I never had to find it. You also did a fabulous job of not getting any pee on your clothes.

Oma at the hospital

2010-02-20T20:38:00.004-06:00

Oma is in the hospital at the moment. Pretty much her first time. So, this is kind of strange for everyone. Especially Oma. Oma never complains about anything, she just does it. But it is obvious that she does not like being in the hospital. She has diverticulitis, some abcesses in the colon that are infected. Of course Oma claims that she has no pain. Based on her spirits I actually believed her. This women is special. You girls, and Jack, are so lucky to have her part of your life.

As far as Oma is concerned you kids can do no wrong. Her eyes lit up when you strolled on in to that hospital room. Ava gave her a picture of a *panda* that she drew. Charly proudly handed her the photos of you two we brought.

I assumed she was uncomfortable, she had Iv's hooked up and all. I thought it would be kind of hard for her to hold Jack. I should have known better! Oma wanted to get her hands all over him, IV's and all. Jack was more than happy to have the attention. He talked and smiled at her. He insisted on standing. This meant he was standing on her belly. I had to think that was uncomfortable for her. Oma smiled the whole time. This women is special. She is full of nothing but love.

Many, many years ago when I first met Oma, I thought she was the most amazing grandma I had ever met. For many years after that I convinced myself the reason she was such a superior Grandma was because she didn't have *that many* grandkids. 10 to be exact. Well, that was just nonsense. Now I know without a doubt....she is most definitely a superior grandma(or Oma.) Oma treats each of you as if you are her only grandchild. And you are her GREAT grandchildren. She adores you. When Oma talks about you she has nothing but love and praise, even when you most definitely don't deserve it:) I know better than to tell Oma about your monstrous moments. She would refuse to believe me. She would giggle and make excuses for you. I love this women and am so thankful we get to be part of her life. The first time I have ever seen her sad was this year when she lost Opa. That was hard, Oma is never sad. In her true spirit she has managed to squeeze in some moments of joy in between the incredible sadness she is dealing with. Ava, Charly and Jack- you have all been a big part of that joy.

Charly ramblings caught on video

2010-02-17T20:52:00.003-06:00

You love to sit on the counter. Especially when I am cooking. Today you just wanted to hang out up there and talk all kinds of nonsense. You are still on this kick about getting a new dog. Your disgust with Porter is quite comical. Apparently his black color means that he has germs. You seem to believe that a brown dog would be better.

Continued for more rambling about nothing...

At the Dr's office

2010-02-17T20:36:00.003-06:00

Charly- I could listen to you talk all day. Your sweet little voice and the things that come out of your mouth are just the best. I wish I could keep you 2 a little longer. You managed to keep Jack and I both entertained for 90 MINUTES at the Dr's office. Don't get me wrong, you were into lots of trouble. You waited to walk across the examining table once the Dr. came in. Nice of you to save your good tricks for her to see.

Cookie decorating fools

2010-02-17T20:15:00.003-06:00

Making, baking and decorating cookies might be the craziest thing I do as a Mom. I can't help myself though. I love it. Makes me all nostalgic about my childhood. Now that I think about it, I don't think my mom ever used frosting. It is the biggest mess....ever. Sprinkles, flour and frosting everywhere.
I kind of burned one tray. Decided to let Charly decorate those ones.
Wow. That is all I can say about Ava's cookies. Layers upon layers of frosting.
She ate every one of those nasty cookies. I took one bite and politely spit it out:)
Charly was getting over a cold the day we made the cookies. I watched her wipe her nose on her hand, lick the knife she used for the frosting and cough all over them. Needless to say, she got her own special box to store *her* very own cookies in.
Hope you had fun girls. It was worth all the mess. Those cookies were darn good. May have had to do with the fact that I haven't touched sugar in a couple months....

In love with Connor

2010-02-17T12:30:00.003-06:00

I have been hearing about Connor since the first week of school. My curiousity was killing me. I finally got to meet him. And he did not disappoint. The kid is stunning. His eyes, his skin, his hair. I can totally understand why you picked him out. He didn't even seem to bothered that you decided you were going to follow him around Chuck e Cheese for the entire party. I have no shame and snapped a picture of you two. You can see how thrilled he was:) Might I add that this picture does not do him justice.

4 months of baby Jack

2010-02-17T08:12:00.007-06:00

Your whole face is involved in that smile. This is the face that has turned me into a lovestruck nut. You look like Ava in the picture below. Well, Ava as a baby.

Four months already. I think I'm okay with it. I have no regrets. I have enjoyed every day of your four months. You are simply a joy to be around.

The truth is you have probably gotten "fussier" in the last month. It's nothing to complain about though. Most of the time when you are fussy I can just put you to bed. I think you just get overtired. You are still not sleeping like *I* would like. Your naps are short and not very predictable. The past week has seen some bright spots with a few 2-3 hour naps. Yay! Most days you are asleep by 6:30 (due to not enough napping.) You simply can't make it past that. Some days its even 6:00. We wake you for a bottle around 10:00 and you have been consistently sleeping thru until 7:00. It's right around dinner most nights when you start getting cranky. I take you up to bed and then you start smiling and giggling at me. It's torture for me! I have been known to change my mind when you get all cute and keep you up a little later.

This week you went and got even cuter. Didn't think it was possible! You have started sucking your thumb. I don't know why this excites me so much, it probably shouldn't. I just think it is the most adorable, sweetest thing I have ever seen. Your sisters never sucked their thumbs so this is all new to me. I thought I caught you doing it on the video monitor a couple of times but I wasn't sure. The other day I went to check on you in the morning. You were awake, rolled on your side, sucking your thumb. It just melted me. Made me all smiley and happy. So...even if I have to break you of this habit one day, I think it will all be worth it.

You are getting very big. I am really not thrilled with this. I had a feeling this was going to happen. It seems all the boy babies grow so quick. I really would prefer you would keep the illusion up that you are still a newborn. At your 4 month appt you weighed 16'7 and 27.5" long. That is really long! Like 98" for height. I can tell you are so tall because your little feet are busting out of your sleepers. For as much as you weigh you really aren't all that chubby. Your cheeks are so full. If I am holding you, I am kissing those cheeks. Over and over again.

Charly's birthday

2010-02-16T19:36:00.004-06:00

Tonight at dinner we started asking Charly about her upcoming birthday. She knew that 3 came after 2. "i'm gonna be free!"

When we asked her about a theme for her birthday she said she wanted ABC's. I thought maybe she didn't get the question. I then asked her what kind of cake she wanted. I even gave some suggestions...Little pony, Hello Kitty, Elmo. Nope, she stuck with the ABC's. Karl and I looked at each other smiling. The kid is so cute. I commented proudly "looks like we have a little scholar on our hands!" As soon as I got the words out she jumped in with....."i get ABC's AND Hanna Montana!" Looks like "free" is going to be a fun one my little girl!

Jack at 4 months...more to follow

2010-02-12T20:05:00.001-06:00

100 days of school

2010-02-10T21:06:00.002-06:00

I love watching you get off the bus. It really is fun and super cute. I never know what personality is going to come off that bus. Some days you are all smiles literally bouncing to the car. Other days you are so tired you practically drag your back pack. Thats cute to. Today though I got a bonus. You got off that bus looking like the biggest dork!!! Apparently it was the 100th day of school so they gave you this fabulous crown to wear to celebrate. Oh you wore it. All night long. I am going to miss 5. I am sure you will be much too cool for this sort of thing at 6.

The screwdriver

2010-02-10T20:46:00.002-06:00

Charly you are constantly into things you shouldn't be. It is part of your charm. This morning you found some baby toy in the back of the closet. You brought it to me because it needed batteries. I tried my best to blow you off... but you wouldn't take no for an answer. You ran off chirping "I be wight back Mommy." Oh how cute I though, you are going to get batteries. It cracks me up that you even know where we keep them. Your sister was never that resourceful at 2...or 3...0r 4. Anyway, you were gone awhile and then came all smiles back to me with the batteries....and a screwdriver. It seems all of the toys now require a screwdriver to get to the batteries. I am lazy and don't really like searching through the toolbox. When batteries need to be changed I tend to leave the toy out for Daddy to operate on. I can't believe you knew (a) we needed a screwdriver and (b) what a screwdriver looks like(you brought me the perfect size) and (c) where your Dad keeps the screw drivers.

Back to your charm. I probably should have given you some kind of lecture about not going into Daddy's tool box and playing with tools. You are just too damn cute sometimes I lose my ability to parent responsibly.

"I do nuffing"

2010-02-04T19:53:00.002-06:00

The Pabst children pretty much get free reign over the house. We are pretty babyproofed and mostly if they are off playing quietly I am happy. Charly is really good at "independant" play. She will go off and just play pleasantly by herself for hours. She also happens to be the one that is good at finding anything she should not be playing with.

Yesterday I was putting on my make-up and Charly wanted to join in. We did that the day before and it didn't go so well. She ended up looking like she was beat up by a gang. I decided this time to "redirect" her out of my bathroom and off to some toys.

A few minutes later I see her back in the bathroom. Oh well..she is being quiet, right? I was right there and figured I could keep an eye on her. I kept peeking in and reminding her "no make-up right?" She of course replies "no make-up Mommy."

A minute later I see the door is shut. Does she think I am a rookie? She thinks she can shut the door and I am not going to be suspicious? Curious to hear her response I asked " Charly what are you doing in there?" She couldn't have sounded any more guilty "I just playin Mommy, ok." Of course I don't trust her so I open the door to find her with my eyeshadow in one hand and my RAZOR in the other hand. My drawer with all kinds of things I DON"T want them playing with was wide open. The best part was her face when she got busted. Well, her face and her quick defense.... "I do nuffing Mommy, I do nuffing." Ummm...you have a razor in your hand. Gotta give her credit. She managed to look so guilty, yet so confident in her answer all at once. I think she thought I was actually going to buy it. hahahaha

Still not ready to laugh about this....

2010-02-04T19:12:00.004-06:00

Charly, Charly, Charly. You are bringing back some old memories with your horrid behavior. You have truly been a monster all the sudden.

Two nights ago Karl walked into the kitchen and gasped..."Leslie did you spill tomatoes all over the floor, they are everywhere." Ummm...no? We then both turn to Charly who is one by one picking the tomatoes out of her spaghetti and throwing them EVERYWHERE. "I don't wike these. I just throw them on the floor." I'll throw your little butt in time-out!!! "I sorry Mommy.".... as she bats her eyelashes. I really can't remember what happened next..but she ended up getting sent to bed a very sad little girl. Great, nipped that one in the bud. Pat on the back for Mom and Dad!

Ha! Next morning I peeled a nice orange and gave it to her on her little table. A few minutes later I hear Ava calling "MOM, MOM hurry. Charly is throwing oranges all over the floor." You have got to be kidding me! I was livid. I again don't really remember what happened next but I am *pretty sure* I didn't beat you.

This brings me to this morning. I am in the laundry room and I hear the sweetest, cutest voice yelling "scuse me, SCUSE meeeeee. MOMMY!" I ignored her for a minute as I tried to finish the laundry. Eventually I couldn't ignore her because that little voice just sounded so cute, and she clearly wasn't giving up. In I walk to the family room to see Charly, literally, jumping up and down on my lap top. When I say jumping.... I mean the lap top was on the couch and she was jumping and bouncing on it like a freakin' tramopline. As if I didn't see her, she felt the need to make sure I knew what she was doing. "Look mommy, I jumpin on your computer." .....All with a HUGE grin. Well, your Momma is still not grinning over this one. Charly welcome to Pabst bootcamp.

The first sandwich!

2010-02-04T18:24:00.004-06:00

Something very exciting happened today. Ava, you ate your first sandwich! This is a huge deal because I have been packing lunch meat and crackers in your lunch bog forever. Years ago I attempted to get you to eat a sandwich. You would eat bread and turkey...yet acted horrified at mixing the two.

In typical Ava fashion...this is how it all went down.

Ava- "I'm hungry!"

Of course I offered you some options, one of which was a bagel.

It was like a little light when on in your head. I couldn't believe what I was about to hear.

Ava-"I have an idea. How about we take that bagel and break it down the middle. Then how about you take some lunch meat and put it in the middle and put it back together!"

Of course I am cracking up. It was as if you thought you just invented the "sandwich." I was more than elated to make you your first bagel sandwich.

When I was making it I said ..."You know I bet this would be really good with bread to."

I got a typical Ava reply...

Ava- "I was going to ask for it with bread, but we don't have any. Thats why I said bagel."

Well, DUH. How silly of me.

I think this whole sandwich thing is the highlight of my month.

Jackie

2010-01-30T13:53:00.004-06:00

It's about time I had something bad to say about you! The last week you have been a little crankypot. You are showing all the signs of teething but I just can't imagine that teething would make you this miserable. Okay...so you are not that miserable. Just so different from your normal cute happy self. I even took you back to the Dr. yesterday to rule out an ear infection. It was one of those times I was praying he would say ear infection so we would have an answer...and a solution. Nope, I am left clueless. You are so much happier when we give you tylenol, but I hate to drug you around the clock. I don't know, hope it's just a short lived phase. You are getting so heavy it is making it hard to carry you around. You were 16 1/2 lbs at the Dr's office. WOW. I didn't realize how big that was until I just typed it out. 16 1/2lbs?!? How did this happen and how can we make it stop?

Funny thing about this cranky phase. Your bad week would have been comparable to Charly's happiest week.

And one more thing. I guess you are now being referred to as Jackie. I caught Charly saying it and wondered where she got it from. Ahhh..then I caught myself "Jackie, what's the matter? What's wrong Jackie poo?" Oops...I really didn't want to start that one.

ava's first trip to the salon

2010-01-30T13:38:00.004-06:00

I usually cut your hair and occasionally I will have Gina do it at her house. Right before Christmas you really needed a haircut so we went to the salon to see Gina. You were very patient and thoroughly enjoyed staring at yourself in the mirror for the 45 minute hair cut. This was a for real haircut! It came out super cute. These aren't the best pictures, I took them with my phone. But they will have to do!

Charly being a sweetheart this morning (sarcasm)

2010-01-28T10:33:00.004-06:00

This morning by the time I got downstairs you and Ava were already awake, watching tv on the couch. I never really know what kind of mood you will be in. It's 75% good mood and about 25% of the time you are cranky and MEAN. This is an improvement from a year ago when you were 100% mean in the morning:) So this is how it went this morning....

Charly- why are you HERE?( insert very annoyed tone)

Me- because I woke up and came downstairs to see you!

Charly- I don't want you here. I want you to go somewhere.

Me- Really, like where?

Charly- I don't know... I want you to go to the store or somefing. I fink you should go to Target.

Me- Do you want to come with?

Charly- (still annoyed)Ugh......(long pause as her complete tone turns happy and sweet)......sure! I get some pizza at TARGET!

Me- ya...were not going to Target. Hahahahaha.

That first giggle....

2010-01-24T20:11:00.003-06:00

So apparently you giggle Jack. I figured it was about time, I *thought* I might have heard an attempt at a giggle about a week ago, but I had yet to hear a true belly giggle. Until. Until we took a day trip up to see our dear friend Courtney and her babies. I handed you off to Courtney for a moment so I could get situated and I *thought* I heard you laughing. Of course I had a normal reaction as I ran over to see for myself. "what the hell are you doing to my baby?!" Courtney continues on with her baby giggling techniques...."Oh...he's just laughing." I know he's laughing, but he doesn't laugh yet. So...she handed you back and gave me some simple instructions on how to make a baby giggle, and you did. And it was soooooo stinkin cute.

Jack 3 1/2 months

2010-01-19T19:45:00.003-06:00

Jack, Jack, Jack. You are super out of control cute. It really is ridiculous. All I have to do is start talking to you and you break out into a huge open mouth grin.

Well, lets see what has been going on the last couple of weeks??? You have gotten pretty consistent with sleeping through the night. Yay! We usually do a dream feed at 10:00 and then you can make it until 7-7:30. It's a beautiful thing and makes for a very well rested family:)

You had your first ear infection. I can't believe how quick we caught it. Poor Ava had an ear infection that went undetected for the whole 5 days of christmas. You'd think the fevers and the complaining of ear pain would have been enough of a sign for me. What can I say- you're the golden child. Your Dad noticed the slightest bit of something dried on your ear and I was at the Dr. within 2o minutes. I am so sad that this has started already with you. The last few days you have had more congestion which is what caused the first ear infection. I hope you don't get another one:(

You have started chewing on your hands. We crack up watching you try and get them to your mouth. It's like your whole body and mind is involved with the amount of effort it takes. You spot them...far..away. I can see your eyes catch a glimpse of those yummy hands. At first you try to will them, with a hard stare, towards your mouth. When that doesn't work you take your right hand and use it to pull the left hand toward your mouth. Your eyes are focusing and narrowing the whole time. I love it. I pretty much love everything you do though.
You have also started using the bumbo chair. You only last 5 or 10 minutes...but hey I'll take it. This was another baby apparatus that your big sister Charly refused to indulge us with. Happy to see it getting some use!

Yesterday we had you watching your first Baby Einstein video. Cutest thing ever! You were a little fussy(means you *might* want to be held) and I was trying to cook dinner. I decided to pop one in. You were sitting in your bouncy chair going wild. Your legs were kicking, your eyes were all bugging out. I guess you liked it!

You have started to wear a little bit of real clothes. You have pretty much lived in sleepers for the last few months. It has been cold, but mainly this is my issue. I think you just look too freakin cute when you are in a sleeper. Plus you look more babyish. Which I am clearly clinging to for dear life. I am not handling the thought of you growing much at all.

Carbs

2010-01-18T20:23:00.002-06:00

The past month or two I have been dieting really hard. It is not fun, especially during the holidays. It is sooo worth it though...I am starting to feel like my old self. Another 5 lbs and I will hopefully be able to squeeze into my old jeans. A couple lbs after that and I will be back to that much longed for "pre-pregnancy weight." I *thought* I made my dieting fairly secret. It wasn't exactly a topic of conversation at dinner.

I was shocked by the conversation we just had at a nice family dinner out. It went something like this.

Charly- Mommy you wanna fwench fry?

Me- no thanks Charly, my dry chicken and broccoli is just fine

this is where Ava pops in..

Ava- Mommy's doesn't like CARBS! She's allllergic to carbs. (chuckle, chuckle)

Karl and I both let out a few chuckles. Now Charly wanted in.

Charly- (in a sing songy way) Mommy you don't wike carbs. You awwergic to carbs. Mommy is awergic to Carbs. Carbs are so bad mommy.

Just the two of us

2010-01-17T06:11:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was a really, really fun day! Lately I have noticed you(Ava) trying really hard to get my attention. You ask me questions, are telling me really LONG stories, hanging ALL OVER me and even wanting me to play games with you. Imagine! With all three of you there is so much going on it's hard to find the time (and patience:) for this. I realized that as well as you seem to have adjusted to starting school and having a new brother all within a month...you have really lost a lot of time and attention from me. Looking back at the last few months you have pretty much been holding up a sign saying "don't forget about me." I decided it was time for a "just the two of us" day.

First stop was McDonald's. Last week I had taken Charly to Mc'd's and she had lots of fun showing off her chipmunk toy to you. Then she got another one in her lunch at Alliegator. You wanted one of those things sooo bad. I even let you play with the toy before you started eating. We had some really nice conversation and I loved being able to have all my attention on just you for a change.

We had a little time to kill before the movie started so we did a little shopping. I haven't taken you shopping with me in a really LONG time. I'd take you anytime kid. I tried a dress on and you went wild. "mommy you have to buy it!" Well...if you insist!

Next stop was the main attraction for the day. The Alvin and the Chipmunk movie. I let you guess where we might be going and you never did guess a movie. When I told you we were going to see the Chipmunks your whole face lit up and you let out a huge squeal. A genuine excited squeal for joy. When the movie started you had a huge grin on your face. When a funny part would come on you would turn to look at me and smile even bigger. That was my favorite part of the movie:) You are a real sweetheart Ava. How lucky am I that this is just the start of many more outings with one of my favorite people in the whole world.

time out

2010-01-16T16:07:00.002-06:00

Ever heard of the old "timeout doesn't start until you stop crying" Charly I think the opposite should be true for you right now. You are in timeout in the other room, having way too much fun. You are in there making voices, doing impersonations. Trying desperately to make conversation with us. You even requested chocolate. I think it might be time for a new technique. You have been in timeout for awhile and I honestly can't even remember what you did to go in time-out.

Update- found out what you were in timeout for.

Me- Okay Charly, you can come out. What are you sorry for?

Charly- I sorry for sitting on your computer.

Ah..now I rememeber. Back in timeout! That was a serious offense!

Chocolate chip cookie for breakfast

2010-01-16T06:42:00.003-06:00

I have to draw the line somewhere with Charly. This morning you woke up and wanted M&M's. I put my foot down and told you no...but instead offered you a chocolate chip cookie:) "okay Mommy....then I have m&m'." This cracks me up lately. You are learning that dessert comes after you eat your dinner. You just don't quite understand that I am not going to "reward" you with m%m'S for eating a COOKIE for breakfast. You are also starting to think you get a dessert after each meal..breakfast and all.

A few minutes later I look over and you are mumbling about the chocolate chips in the cookie. Turns out you didn't want to eat the cookie part??? You were trying to pick out the chocolate chips and just eat those. Who does that???

Trying to have a "moment"

2010-01-15T22:07:00.004-06:00

I was getting ready for bed, just gave Jack his bottle. He was so sweet and cuddly in his sleep I got the idea to visit you two. I walk in the bedroom and you are both sprawled out in the exact same awkward position with no covers on. I cover you both up and squeeze in the middle. This is around the time Ava wakes up. You were thoroughly excited to find me in your bed in the middle of the night. Your Dad ha"Poker night". Anyhow...it was pretty funny when you decided to strike up a conversation with me. You wanted to know "who do you think is winning all that poker down there?" Haha...Daddy of course;). I tried to steer our conversation a little more sentimental. It seems like our days are so busy and I wish I had more patience to sit and just be with you girls. Of course it just doesn't happen....so I thought this would be a sweet time to have a moment. I told you how I just wanted to come and lay with you both and cuddle. You seemed somewhat into it...then out of nowhere you are picking your nose. "i have these crusties I am trying to get." You got discouraged with the left side and switched to the right. "maybe they are on this side." "that's weird what happened to the crusties, I was trying to get them and they are gone." Well, it wasn't the sweet moment I had in mind. That's quite alright. It was a moment, and I'll never forget it!

The Irony of the dance

2010-01-13T19:42:00.002-06:00

So Ava....you can't dance. But you think you can. That is a beautiful thing and I will continue to encourage you to dance...even though you have no rhythm whatsoever. I have no rhythm myself. I do believe that I get some when I have had a few cocktails, but that is debateable.

One of your all time favorite things to do is put on Dance shows for the family. I gotta admit that your freestyle moves aren't half bad. Your facial expressions are what really keep us entertained. That and your overzealous moves. The problem arises when it is time to follow the routine. I thought you would love dance class. I failed to consider that you would actually have to do what the teacher says and stay with the beat. Not good. Your dance teacher is so sweet but even she can't help but correct you. You are not so big on this. After one class you were so excited on the car ride home " Mom, my teacher didn't have to tell me I was doing it wrong today. Not once!"

I was a little nervous for your Christmas recital. You still seemed so confused in class doing the routine. The first show you somehow ended up on the opposite side of the stage. Oh well, no big deal. You looked so cute up there smiling I couldn't take my eyes off of you. The final show I was so proud because you atleast started off on the right side of the stage. I watched closely as you danced snapping pictures and thinking how great you were doing. I didn't want to miss a thing so I only focused on you. You got all the moves and looked so darn cute in your costume. MY OH MY was I surprised when I watched the video. Ya...you might have got all the moves. Problem was they were all a good 30 seconds behind all of the other girls! One day you will watch the video and we will all laugh..together.

So...I was thinking about pulling you out of dance class. You don't really enjoy going to class and it is hard to get there(right at dinner time). Unfortunately I realized that I paid for the spring recital costume already. $65 bucks! You are staying. It looks like I am going to have to be that mom that actaully practices at home. yay.

So isn't it ironic that you can't dance but it's like your MOST favorite thing to do?

Charly Talk

2010-01-13T19:20:00.003-06:00

Charly you are coming out with some pretty cute little sayings lately. You are getting to the age of asking a lot of questions. Your little voice is so cute I don't even find it annoying! The conversations are oh so entertaining. Sometimes I like to provoke you to ensure I get the cutest commentary.

Charly- "mommy, where we going today?"

Me- "oh, I don't think we are going anywhere today"

Charly "C'mon Mommy(with a chuckle) where we going?"

Me- "i don't know where do you want to go?"

Charly- "how bout we go to the gym?"

Me- "okay, how bout we go to the gym"

Charly "dats cool Mommy"

That is one of my favorites- "dats cool." You say it all the time lately. It fits into any conversation.

The other one that you can't get enough of, and neither can I, is "I wuv you Mommy." Sometimes its out of nowhere other times its after I do something nice for you. It really is the sweetest thing ever. You usually come and hug my leg right after you say it. Then you run off and play.

When I tell you something you don't want to hear or something you don't want to do you have your go to response. It is.... "i don't fink so." Its almost like you know you don't stand a chance but you are not going to obey without a *little* fight.

Just when I thought you couldn't get any cuter, you did. As if your language and lack of pronunciation wasn't enough...you have now added these over dramatic facial features. You seem to know all the right times to use them. For instance you find gum in my purse and want some. You bring me the gum (You should already be in trouble for digging in my purse), you open your eyes real wide and start batting your eyelashes asking if you can have some gum. Meanwhile you have this huge grin on your face and you have already started chewing half the piece. "Mommy can I have some gum, Can I? Can I? Pease? Pease can I have some gum!?" I suck and of course let you have the gum. I have to restore some parental authority so I make sure to tell you that this time it goes in the trash afterwards and not wedged in the couch. "dat's cool Mommy."

"I want a new dog"

2010-01-11T15:17:00.002-06:00

Yesterday Grandma took the girls to the pet store. So now today Charly is requesting a new dog.

Charly- I want a new dog Mommy.

Me- What kind of dog do you want Charly?

Charly- like a big one, not like that big one(glares at Porter), but a different big one

Me- we have a dog though, Porter

Charly- But..., but I don't like him. I want a new one.

The smell...oh it's so good

2010-01-10T09:26:00.003-06:00

Oh Jack...you smell so good. When I go to get you from your nap the first thing I do is just put you real close to my face and take a real big whiff of you. I swear it makes me a little high. Okay I might be a little high for what I am about to write. I also now love it when I smell formula on you. I used to hate the smell of formula. Most likely the smell is coming from your spit up. Nope, that doesn't even gross me out. Something about your skin it just makes anything smell good. And it surely isn't because you just had a bath. I can't even remember when you had your last bath. Should probably put that on the list for today. In all seriousness...I really just want to remember what you smelled like as a baby forever. I am going to go cry now....

Jack at 3 months

2010-01-03T19:48:00.008-06:00

I JUST wrote the 2 month post...how can you possibly be 3 months old? The month of December just flew by because we were so busy with all the family in town.

Well....another month has gone by and you are easier than ever. Dare I say the best baby ever? Okay, I am going to give that award to Ava because she was a SLIGHTLY better napper than you. You are a decent napper but still a little inconsistent. You are not to the point that I can count on a 2 hour nap. Sometimes you will nap for 45 minutes and then other times 3 hours. It seems to get more consistent every day though. Sometimes you will still cry for a couple minutes when I lay you down for your naps. It doesn't bother me much because it is so quick and you go right to sleep.

Back to you being such a good baby though. You are just happy, happy, happy. Checking things out and smiling a huge smile if someone talks to you. You have REALLY started cooing and talking. The sounds that come out of that precious little mouth of yours are enough to distract me from whatever I am doing. And I am usually doing something. I am always such a busy body I am not very good at "stopping to smell the roses." This is different though. When you start to talk to me I can't help but get sucked into Jack's world. Your little voice and the way you respond to me is a moment of joy. I thought I was head over heels in love with you before....I don't know what you would call this feeling now.

I started to "sleep train" you(aka babywise) a couple of weeks ago. It was a rough first week but definitely worth it in the end. It helped you to fall into a really nice evening routine. You are asleep by 7:00 every night and many nights its 6:30. When I lay you down for the night you don't even make a peep. I had read that most(85%) of babywise babies sleep through the night by 12 weeks. I was really losing hope because you were consistently waking up at 3 or 4 am. Christmas night a day before you turned 12 weeks, out of nowhere you slept through! It was a wonderful gift because I was sooo tired that night. It looks like a pattern has formed because you have slept through most of the nights since. We feed you a bottle at 10:00 and you don't make a peep until 7:00 or 7:30. It is heaven.

Last week I took you to the Dr. for some shots. You were supposed to have gotten them at your 8 week check-up but I had decided to spread them out. In the end you only got one because I decided to turn down the Hepatitus B vaccine until you are older. It's main transmission is sex and drug needles....I think we are safe for a little while. It really infuriates me that they give this vaccine at ALL to babies. But that is whole other post. Anywho...... I was shocked when they weighed you and you were up to 15 lbs! You really don't look that chubby though because you are still so long.

Oh Jack...I don't know how this happened. But you have changed me. You have really, really changed me and I have never been happier. I really thought going to 3 kids was going to be my own personal hell at times. I even thought I might need something like valium....or vodka to get through the crazy stress;) To put it simply though....adding you to the family has been just perfect.

The Babies!

2009-12-27T09:38:00.003-06:00

Jack and Luke are about 3 weeks apart. Luke is the older one and makes sure it is known.... He probably weighs about 5 lbs more than Jack. They both have such a distinct look. You would never know they are related!

Best Christmas Ever

2009-12-26T07:34:00.009-06:00

Christmas seems like it has been going on forever(started putting the lights up before thanksgiving:)...but it also just flew by. It really started the 1st of the month with the chocolate calenders. Nothing like starting out the day with chocolate. Of course Charly got a little overzealous one day and ripped open most of the month. A little tape and we were back in business.

The Elf on the Shelf was also a big hit. Unfortunately Charly wasn't really buying the whole concept that the Elf was going to be reporting her behavior back to Santa. I heard Ava warn her a few times "Charly the elf is watching...." Charly would look up at him and just carry on with whatever hell she was raising. Maybe next year. Speaking of next year....next year I am going to get on the ball with the moving of the elf. Ava would, of course, notice every morning if I forgot to move the elf. I came up with some creative excuses as to why he hadn't flown back to Santa that night. "It was raining last night Ava, thats why he didn't fly back to the North Pole" or "maybe you weren't very good today and he didn't want to have to tell Santa." I am not sure all these stories will work next year when you are 6.

Some of my favorite Christmas moments-

I heard Ava telling Aunt Donna all about Christmas morning. The best part was when she told her "I was really afraid that Charly wasn't going to get any presents from Santa because she wasn't very good. He still got her lots of presents though."

My Mom told Charly and Jude that she saw Santa out the window. Charly was then of course conviced she saw him to. She came running and squeling to tell me how she saw Santa in the clouds.

Charly told Santa that she wanted " a giraffe, a horse and a choo choo." I have NO idea where the choo choo came from. Anyway, I knew she was not getting a horse or a choo choo. My mom assured me they NEVER remember the stuff they didn't get because they are so excited with the stuff they do get. HA! About an hour after they opened the presents she walked up to me with a most defeated look and said..."Where my horse, santa forgot my horse?"

Christmas dinner all the adults were sitting around drinking wine and nibbling on desserts while we set the kids up to play with markers and scissors...duh. When I heard Karl ask Charly "WHAT DID YOU DO??" I knew it wasn't good. She had taken the scissors to the back of her head and cut out some nice chunks of her pretty blond hair. Luckily he caught her before she went too crazy. I saw all the hair on the floor and then when I ran my fingers through her hair more just kept falling out.

Jack had a pretty uneventful Christmas. He slept through most of it and did really good being on the road so much. He even gave me a wonderful Christmas present by sleeping through the night for the first time.

Out of all the cool toys and stuff you two got for Christmas...the thing you have played with the most is the 99 cent spray bottles from Target. It's a little ridiculous!

Charly got a really cute remote control My little Pony car from Erica and Tom. I think it is probably the favorite of the toys. Of course Jude wanted to play with it. I must have heard her say 20 times "it's not for boys, it's not for boys." Every now and then she would throw in "Jude's not shawing."

We had recorded the new version of The Rudolph movie. I think that you both watched it 2-3 times a day. At the end they sing this song "It's going to be the best Christmas ever, there's never going to be another night like tonight..." I LOVE the song. It just makes me want to sing out and dance around the living room. It's even more fun to sing it to Charly because the second I would start she would be telling me"be quiet MOMMY, NO singing."

2 months

2009-12-05T07:31:00.003-06:00

I really shouldn't even be putting this to words...but...I am going to. I admit that you are so sweet I keep having these thoughts that I could totally handle another one of you. Now of course this is not going to happen but I think its funny that I even think it. I thought for sure having a 3rd would make me terrified of having a 4th. You have just been such a joy that it makes me a little sad that I won't be getting to experience this again. I would clearly not be lucky enough to get another baby like you. So the plan is to just enjoy every day with you and not take it for granted.

You really are so easy it unfortunately makes you easy to ignore. I set you up in your bouncy seat and you are happy as can be. I look at the clock and realize you have been in there an hour.

You went to the Dr. this week for your two week check-up. 24 1/2" long and 12'8. That put you at the 91% for height and 76% for weight. You feel so solid and strong now. I was shocked last week when I laid you on your belly and you rolled over. I thought it was a fluke but you have done it a few more times since. The little things make your mama so proud.

Ava was proud of herself last week when she showed you how to suck on your thumb. I have noticed the last couple of days you trying to get your hand or thumb in your mouth. I am watching you on the video monitor right now as you are trying to go down for a nap and it looks like you have your thumb in your mouth. We have never had a thumb sucker. Maybe you will take after your Daddy and be a thumb sucker.

7 weeks old

2009-11-21T07:25:00.002-06:00

7 weeks old and nothing but sweet. Jack you are getting so big so fast all of the sudden. At first you were just really long but now you are really starting to fill out.

The only time you seem to be fussy is when you are tired. The hardest part is that you won't really take the pacifier and you want me to nurse you to sleep. Yesterday you fell asleep all on your own and hardly cried. That was exciting! Hopefully a trend.

Oh I forgot about the car. You are an absolute terror in the car. 75% of the time you will just scream your little heart out. It is kind of sad at first but quickly turns to annoying:) I can just feel my blood pressure rise. I don't like to hear my baby cry.

The last couple of nights you only woke up once around 3:00am. It is so nice. When you only wake up once I feel somewhat rested. Then you are up for the day around 6:30- 7:30. Sometimes you will eat a little and then fall asleep for another 1/2 hour in the mornings.

Today I took a little nap while Karl was watching football. When I came downstairs you were happily sitting in your bouncy chair. You sat there for over an hour without making a peep. I finally decided to go pick you up and found you had leaked through your diaper and were also sitting in a poopy diaper. You never let me know when you need to be changed. You were all smiles though when I did change your diaper. You love it when I talk to you and you give me these big open mouth smile/expression things. You just melt me.

Charly's newest

2009-11-12T20:37:00.004-06:00

Charly's newest lines that crack me up...

"It's not fair." This one is said with her arms crossed on her chest and a very serious expression. Also, it is used at the most ridiculous times. Like when its time to eat dinner... "it's not fair."

The other one she started this week is "I'm MAD at you Ava." Usually Charly will go start a fight with Ava and when Ava fights back Charly will start the "i'm mad at you Ava."

Apparently

2009-11-12T20:33:00.003-06:00

Apparently I say apparently a lot. Cracks me up when I hear the kids say something way too adult for their age. I have caught Ava saying "apparently" a few times. It sounds so strange coming from a 5 year old.

Me- Ava come on, you need to get ready for bed."

Ava- "Apparently I am not very tired."

You get the idea. It's pretty funny....but has the potential to get her in some trouble. Apparently. Apparently she can be a little smart ass:)

"balls hurt daddy?"

2009-11-12T20:19:00.003-06:00

Karl had his vasectomy last week(yay!). I wish I could say he took it like a man...but I don't think such a man exists. I have realized you will never know what a baby your husband is until he gets a vasectomy. Oh my, you would think they were amputating the thing. Anyhow their is a reason this made it to the blog. He claims the whole thing really wasn't that bad...but apparently he did enough complaining. Well, Charly got wind of all of this. Karl was sitting on the couch minding his own business when Charly walks over and says..

"Your balls hurt daddy."

WHAT??? Don't worry she repeated herself...a few times.

"Daddy your balls hurt?" "daddy balls hurt"

Of course the more I laughed the more she said it, as if I was not made aware of his "hurt balls." Oh....and she pointed as she said it. That definitely added to our humor.

Halloween's over

2009-11-09T11:18:00.002-06:00

Charly is quite a talker these days. She goes on and on and I think it might be some of the most intriguing conversation I get these days.

This morning...

"Mom, Halloweens over."

Me- " Do you know what comes next?"

"cwistmas" with a big smile. "cwistmas is scary"

Me- "no Christmas isn't scary."

"santa is scary"

Me- " No Santa isn't scary. He brings you presents."

"santa isn't scary. He gonna bring me presents. He's a nice guy. No, Santa isn't scary."

All is good now:) Glad we cleared that up.

"he's crabby"

2009-11-08T13:49:00.001-06:00

Last night Jack was fussing and Karl was trying to get him happy. Charly walks over and declares "he's crabby....he is craaaby." "baby Jack is crabby" "he's crabbbbbbby"

Thank you Charly- we hadn't noticed.

I think Ava has a crush

2009-11-04T13:25:00.003-06:00

So all the time I hear about this Connor kid. You just tell me random things about him. For instance you told me you saw Connor from your bus and waved at him, but you didn't think he saw you.

The other night at dinner you were telling us about your new seats at your classroom table. You were telling me who was at your table. I decided to ask if Connor was sitting with you this time. You smiled real big and said "No, Connor isn't sitting at my table this time." Karl could tell something was up and asked "who is Connor?" The conversation got funny, really funny from here! It went something like this...

Me- "Connor is one of Ava's friends from school." with a little wink for Karl to see

Ava- 'Ya, he is one of my friends from school, kind of."

Karl- 'oh he is, do you play with Connor at recess?"

Ava- "No, we are kind of like friends that don't really play together."

Me- " do you talk to Connor at lunch?"

Ava- "No, we are kind of like the kind of friends that don't really talk to each other that much."

Karl and me at this point are both trying are hardest not to laugh....then she comes out with this...

Ava- "Connor and I are kind of like the kind of friends that don't really KNOW they are friends, but they are friends. Kind of like that." All with a confident smile on her face.

Jack at 4 weeks

2009-11-01T07:37:00.004-06:00

Yesterday was Halloween and you turned 4 weeks old. You scared me a little because you slept through the entire DAY. When it got to be 9:00 you finally started to wake-up, you had been sleeping since 1:00 and only woke to eat. I was afraid that you were not going to want to sleep that night. I was wrong, thank goodness and when we left the Halloween party you ate your last meal and went back to sleep for the rest of the night. Of course you still woke to eat during the night at your normal 1:00 and 4:00. I was happy that you skipped that 6:00 feeding and made it to 7:00.

Everyone keeps asking me how it is going having 3 kids. I tell them I think I just prepared myself for the worst so this seems pretty manageable. It is definitely a little chaotic but you have been such a good little baby that it helps so much. It seems like the only time you really cry is when you are tired. You haven't quite figured out how to fall asleep unless you are nursing so that can be tricky. So.... if you are crying I can always get you to stop by nursing you. You will be passed out in seconds.

You are filling out more and more but still have the skinniest, longest legs. Your face is changing to. Getting some chub in your cheeks. You make so many faces and they are so cute. I love when you stretch to. It's so cute how you arch your back, purse your lips and stretch your arms...all with your eyes closed. I can't wait for that first smile that should be coming in the next few weeks. You have already stole my heart I can only imagine what those smiles will do to me.

2 weeks old

2009-10-17T13:18:00.002-05:00

Two weeks old already! I take you for a two week check-up on Tuesday and I am really curious to see how much you weigh. You have really filled out and don't feel so scrawny anymore. Turning into a cuddly little baby. You do love to be held but thankfully you are quite content to sit in your bouncy chair or rock in your swing. You have also been sleeping a lot. Yay!

The most chaotic part of the day is when Ava and Charly are both home in the evenings. So far you have been awake a lot at this time of the day. You have been so easy though through the chaos. You do take forever to nurse but you will also sit in your bouncy seat for 45 minutes at a time and let me cook dinner.

At night I have been letting you sleep in your carseat because you are still pretty congested. It has worked out great because you had been sleeping next to me and that was not the ideal situation. You seem to be sleeping in some long stretches in the carseat. Hope that trend continues. Last night was a little rough...you were waking up all night long. I really think it was your cold though because you were making so much noise trying to breath through your congested nose.

Charly turning into a lover???

2009-10-17T13:15:00.002-05:00

So ever since Jack has been here Charly keeps telling us "i love baby jack." I kind of thought she would move on and forget about how much she "loved" him. Quite the opposite! Now she is telling me how much she loves me, giving Ava random hugs and loving on her. I guess the adjustment is going pretty well so far!

Jack's Birth Story

2009-10-13T12:35:00.002-05:00

Jack's birth story....

I made the mistake of convincing myself that I would go a week early because Charly was almost a week early. Once that date passed I figured you would be here at the latest your due date...after all Ava was born on her due date....I have never been late! So two days past your due date I was desperate and decided to try the natural induction method of castor oil. I got up early on October 3rd and made myself a ben and jerry's castor oil milkshake. It went down pretty easy and before I knew it I was in labor. The first hour I was kind of in denial thinking it was just false labor, but Karl could tell it was for real.

Labor started arounf 12:30 and we headed to my midwife's at 2:30. Things started off fast, the contractions were coming every couple of minutes. After a couple of hours they were spread out to every 5 minutes but getting a little stronger. I knew these contractions were not strong enough to be making that much difference (I was 3-4 cms when we arrived.) I was getting bored and tired and wishing things would just get ugly so that it would be close to being over.

At 6:00 we decided to go and get some dinner, so we walked over to Jason's deli that is next to the birth center. The contractions felt a little stronger during dinner but still bearable. My MW had told me that she would break my water at 7:15 if things looked good. I was hoping this would speed things up!

The first contraction after she broke my water was more intense. I knew that was a good sign. I was a little worried thinking I may have 3 or 4 hours of this left. I wanted to hold off getting in the tub as long as possible because I knew it could slow things down and I was still only at 4 cms. Around 7:45 I decided to just get in and help the contraction pain. That first contraction in the water was SO intense..out of nowhere. I felt in control though. I got a few more strong contractions like that and I could almost feel your head moving down. I did my breathing through them and just squeezed Karl's hand as hard as I could. Again I had that thought "oh crap this could go on awhile and I am DYING." Not 5 minutes later I get a back to back contraction which I know is a sign of transition and the end is in sight. I was still not prepared for what was about to happen. The next contraction came and I had no control over my body pushing. My MW ran in and I was shocked when she encouraged me to push. How could I be pushing? I jsut got in the tub and I have only had 5 or 6 BAD contractions. Plus my parents still hadn't arrived. No stopping this..my body was pushing whether I was ready or not. My parents walked in a minute later and I literally pushed for 3 more minutes and your head was out. I couldn't believe it when she told me your head was out. I looked down and sure enough there was your head. One more little push and by 8:10 you were in my arms. You were so tiny I couldn't believe it. I thought you were going to be my smallest baby yet. Turns out you were the biggest at 7'11 but also my longest at 22". You were so cute and I instantly fell in love. You had the most mellow first few hours of life. You were awake for 2 hours and never cried. Your sisters came to meet you when you were only an hour old and they were so excited. Eventually the play room at the birth center was more interesting than you. They were even more interested in the blood they saw in the tub. We all laughed as they inspected the "scene."

By 12:10 that night we were in the car and headed home. I had a rough night recovering but you luckily slept peacefully. I was so happy to wake up the next morning on my own bed with my new baby. Happy is probably an understatement...It was just perfect.

10 days old

2009-10-13T12:13:00.002-05:00

You are ten days old today and I think you already caught your sisters cold. They have both had a random cough or runny nose..no big deal. Two nights ago you started sounded congested during the night and last night it got worse. Now you have been sneezing here and there and sniffling. You seem to be in a pretty good mood so I am trying not to worry too much. I am never much of a worrier, but since you have been born I seem to be worrying about everything. I am hoping it is just a bit of the baby blues and I will be back to myself in a few days. I just feel so protective of you and don't remember feeling like this when your sisters were born.

I took you to work yesterday with me. It was your second trip already. It went pretty well. The first hour we didn't get much done because you were awake. Eventually you fell asleep and I had 2 successful hours of work. I hope we can get into a good routine and you can continue to come to work with me.

The milk

2009-10-11T14:12:00.002-05:00

This morning I was sitting on the couch holding Jack. Charly walks up and says "I want to hold you." I said "what should I do with baby Jack?" Charly reassured me that we could "just put him right over there." She hopped into my lap all smiles. Then her face got a little serious, concerned, and she said "I don't wanna drink from your booby." Poor thing thinks the only ticket into my lap is "to drink from the booby."

Baby Jack

2009-10-10T14:33:00.003-05:00

Today you are one week old Jack. I can't believe how much I have fallen in love with you in this one week. From the first day it just felt like you were always a part of our family. Your sisters are very impressed with their new baby brother, fighting over who gets to hold you next. You are so sweet and mellow that you actually let them hold you.

You have been sleeping and eating and making my life pretty easy. The last few nights you have slept in a few 4 hour stretches. You don't like your bassinet much though and prefer to sleep next to me.

Yesterday was one of the most painful days of my life. I did not want to do the circ but your Dad did. I pretty much cried the whole way there. Then when we got there we found out that the appt was at 11:30 not 10:00. So I cried some more. I foolishly thought once it was done that I would feel better. I was not prepared for that first diaper change. It was raw, red and bleeding and so now my crying turned hysterical. I have never felt so helpless. It hurt just to look at it. All I wanted to do was hold you and comfort you and make your pain go away. You slept most of the evening which was a blessing. I couldn't have handled it if you were fussy and uncomfortable. Today you seem unphased until your Dad touches it to put the vaseline on, then you cry. I can hardly watch him change your diaper. I don't think I will really be able to relax until you are all healed up. Pretty much a nervous wreck I am.

Oh Ava

2009-09-19T21:50:00.002-05:00

Ava was super excited to hear she was getting a babysitter tonight. She was all about me getting ready and getting out of the house. She asked me what I was going to wear and I showed her my green dress. I knew she would approve because it was a dress. I wasn't prepared for the pointer I was going to get.

This was her response when I showed her what I was wearing...

"ohhh, thats good. I like that dress. Okay- but you need to wear heels, none of those flippy flops. They just don't look so good, when you wear those....ughh... flip flops with it. Ya, make sure you wear heels with it Mom. That would be good."

We compromised with some wedges.

38 +weeks

2009-09-19T05:35:00.002-05:00

Well, not much to report. I am still pregnant....feeling like it could be any day now. My Midwife comes back from vacation tomorrow night and then my parents should be home the next day. At this point I hope Jack will hang out a couple more days and wait for everyone.

Yesterday was kind of a rough day. It seems like I have great days and not so great ones. I just felt really emotional and not...stable...haha. Last night I was up every hour literally to pee. If I could fall right back to sleep it wouldn't be a big deal, but I am starting to get anxious and it makes falling back to sleep hard. It seems like every time I wake up I am dreaming about something baby related. I finally gave in and got up at 6:00 this morning. Maybe a nap will be in my future.

37 weeks

2009-09-11T18:04:00.002-05:00

So yesterday I hit 37 weeks. This week was full of nesting. I felt the urge to organize all of Jack's closet, wash some clothes and buy all the last minute odds and ends. I still have quite a bit of energy. I felt really good with Charly right up to the end and it looks like I am going to be lucky again.

It seems like some switch turned yesterday and now all of the sudden I can't stop sweating! Lovely. It doesn't matter how hot or not hot I am...I am sweating. I can be in the air conditioning and not even realize it until I look at my clothes. It seems I have started getting heartburn also. It's not too bad yet so I can't really complain.

I had my appointment today with my MW and I was surprised when she measured my belly that it was only measuring 36 weeks. At 34 weeks I was measuring 35, then at 35 weeks I was still measuring 35. Two weeks later I am only measuring 36. It is strange because I just FEEL so much bigger all the sudden. Maybe he won't be much bigger then the girls. He feels so large inside of me though...the movements are just so much more powerful and large feeling.

So next week is not a good week for Jack to make his appearance. My MW is on vacation, Karl and Rita are visiting Laura and my parents are in Chicago with Erica and baby Luke. I don't think that I would be that lucky to go 2 weeks early...so not too worried.

I am getting incredibly excited to meet you Jack! Finding enough patience is the hardest part for me right now.

music in the car

2009-09-11T17:59:00.002-05:00

Charly now has an obsession with music in the car. EVERY song she insists for me to turn it up, or in Charly speak "tunitup." It's kind of pronounced as one word. She will repeat this a few times until she is content with the volume. If I try and ignore her request she will sweetly say "tunitup, I yike dis song mommy." It was cute until she started this nonsense at the start of EVERY song. I obviously can't turn it up for every song or the music will be blasting by the time we reach our destination. She is a persistent little thing!

Charly

2009-09-09T11:12:00.002-05:00

So Charly...you are seriously cute. Your little personality, goofy expressions, and of course just to look at you. Don't get me wrong- you can be a complete monster...but luckily your cuteness is much more common.

This morning you were in one of your monster moods and it was all whining and crying trying to get Ava to the bus stop. You love to ride along and usually do. I don't even remember what you were complaining about but right as we were headed out the door(after multiple warnings) I told you you were not coming with because you wouldn't stop crying. I closed the door and off we went. I left you with your Daddy and figured he was going to be a little frustrated with you and me when I got back. Nope. You have that man wrapped around your finger. When I came back 5 minutes later you were happily hanging out with him on the couch. I asked him what happened when we left...he smiled and said "how could you stay mad at this kid, she is so cute." I know, I know. That is part of the problem!

There are so many things I love about you and 2 1/2....

- I love your little voice and the things that come out of your mouth. You talk a lot but not much is pronounced right. Makes for some of the most priceless conversations ever.

- You are so cuddly still . You love to try and hop on my lap and cuddle to watch tv or just play.

- When you find something funny you have this really loud, deep belly laugh. When you give me a hug- it's a good one! You wrap your arms so tight around my neck. It's the best. Even better when you tell me "i wuv you SO much."

- You are really good with your manners. When you burp you giggle and say "scuse me." You are also good with "pease", "tanks" and "you welcome."

- You love to sit and color with your "mawkers". You tell me what you are coloring and you are so proud of each masterpiece.

- When you do something you KNOW you shouldn't...you kind of have the cutest apology ever. It's an instant "Sorry....sorry Mommy, sorry.....SORRY!" Usually smiling for the whole apology. I think the amount of sorry's you use directly correlates to the severity of the crime.

One more little story before I forget. Last night we were at Oma's and you were entertaining us all with your conversation. I was asking you if Daddy was cute and you were grinning at me like I was crazy and insisting "no he's a BOY." You went on to tell all of us that we were not cute, that we were boy's. You had us laughing so you were happy to keep up the game. Later as we were leaving you pointed to a picture of Opa and asked me "Who's that boy?" I told you that's Opa. You told me that he had a hat on and he had a fishing pole then you said "I LIKE HIM." It was so sweet. A moment later you said "mommy he's cute."

And it starts...

2009-09-04T20:14:00.002-05:00

"Mom this boy gave me a flower on the bus today." My first thought was..this is going to be a good one. Unfortunately, your admirer is stressing you out, even though you seem to kind of like the concept. You told me all about how he wants you to sit by him even though you only want to sit by you friend Jordan. Apparently he keeps telling you that you have to tell him you like him and you are still refusing because you "don't like him." One of my first questions was "how old is he?" You told me you thought he was your age because he is really small but he told you he is 7. I felt bad for you because you were really trying to figure out how to get out of this predicament. I have a feeling this won't be the last time you have to deal with this:)

I love you more

2009-08-30T20:22:00.004-05:00

Ava-I was really surprised the other day when you brought up the subject of the new baby coming and love. You started off by saying "I bet you're real excited for that baby to come out." I said "you have no idea!" I didn't realize where this was going. You actually questioned me on whether I would love you as much when Jack was born. You seemed genuinely concerned, while I was just surprised that you had even thought of that already. Oh, you know how to break my heart. I explained to you how Mommy's have a way of loving all their kids the same. No matter what! You seemed to feel better and went on to point out that you were glad you were the first baby, because that meant you were extra special.

Today you were at it again. This time you came and gave me a big hug and I told you I loved you. You told me "I love you more." I then told you "no, I love you more." You were getting a little stubborn...and so was I. I looked at you, quite confident and told you "trust me Ava I love you more. I do. One day you will understand." You seemed quite content with that, smiled and gave up the fight. You just can't question a mothers love.

"you so funny"

2009-08-30T08:35:00.003-05:00

Charly, you are becoming a little entertainer. You like to make people laugh and just thrive on it. When you do something funny I will tell you. Usually you point at me and say "YOU so funny." You will giggle and point to everybody... "mommy so funny, Daddy so funny, Ava so funny...and Charwee so funny!"

Many, many details

2009-08-28T14:50:00.002-05:00

Picking you up from the bus is the highlight of my day. You come off running and smiling and as soon as you get in the car my entertainment begins. You are more than happy to fill me in on all the details of your day.

Some of my favorites this week were....

- you told me how you had two friends, wait no "it's 3 because of William". You told me how weird it was that you only wanted to hold his hand on the playground. Already coming on to the boys!

- sometimes you get a little scared that you aren't going to find the bus. You said their is a nice lady that tells you "don't worry Ava- we'll get you there."

- "the playground is the best part. we get really sweaty after and we have to go back to our class and lay our heads on our desk to dry all the sweat off."

- yesterday was your first day buying school lunch. You told me it was so disgusting it made you feel like you were throwing up in your mouth. "don't worry Mom I just ate the roll and the chocolate milk, they have CHOCOLATE MILK!" You did go on to make sure that I would be packing your lunch for the next 10 days.

- one day when I picked you up from the bus stop I told you we were going to go somewhere. You insisted we go home first so you could change out of your uniform. I, of course, said absolutely not. You started to tear up " i have to change, I can't go anywhere looking like THIS." The look of horror on your face was priceless.

- today the first thing out of your mouth was "mom I had a dream at school today that I had a boyfriend. He was in trouble and I went to help him on the playground and he asked me on a DATE."

First Day

2009-08-24T19:01:00.004-05:00

What a relief! We all made it through your first day of school.

The day started off good. You were very excited this morning....hyper really. We got you up by 6:45 to get to the bus stop at 7:35. We were literally there for 1 minute and the bus pulled up ten minutes early. No time for tears! You ran straight for the bus, not an ounce of fear. You did want me to walk you up to the bus driver, which I was relieved to do. He seemed nice, you were more than content, and off you went. Just like that.

I kept busy all day which helped me to not think(or worry) about you. I took Charly to the gym and it was kind of sad- she was the ONLY kid. This was so strange after the summer of 30 kids in there at a time. I was a little worried about her missing you in there..nope...she was fine to. I need to stop worrying apparently.
I was getting anxious as the day went on and so happy to see it was time to head to the bus stop to pick you up. All the moms waited in the 100 degree weather for our babes to be dropped off. 20 minutes later we saw the bus come around the corner, and again I felt relief when I saw you made it on the bus.

You ran off the bus all smiles. Your first comments were "it was the greatest. it was the BEST." Some of the best words I have ever heard out of you. Charly was excited to see you and you gave her a big hug.
I couldn't get enough of the details of your first day and you were more than happy to indulge me with all the details.

Some of the highlights you shared with me...

Your teacher "wasn't even mean, she was nice!" For some reason you were very shocked by this.

I asked you if someone helped you find your class when the bus dropped you off. You proudly told me "nope, i found it all by myself. No one even had to help me."

You told me you didn't need me to send an extra outfit anymore. Your exact words were "mom, I don't need extra clothes anymore. Mom, you know I'm growing up. I don't even accidentally pee on my clothes when I go to the bathroom anymore. really." WOW. One day I send you off and you come home telling me "I'm growing up." Didn't really need to hear that...but whatever!

You told us all about the cafeteria and how they have a green, yellow and red light for when the kids are talking to loud. You even did an imitation of the siren that goes off if it gets too loud in there.

Your favorite part was the music and the playground.

You didn't have to take a nap. They just made everyone lay their head on the desk..but not to sleep...just to get "un-sweaty" after recess. Ha ha.

You liked the bus. It was a "crazy ride, really bumpy."

Questions

2009-08-24T13:45:00.003-05:00

I want to write down the questions (and comments) you asked me about school before I forget. They were pretty cute:)

"How will I find the bathroom, I don't think they have one?"

"Mom, I need money for the bus. Don't I need to give him money to ride on the bus?"

"I'm scared to go to the principals office. What if I have to go to the principals office?"

"Where is the cafeteria, what if I can't find it?"

"How long will I be gone?"

"Do I have to go there every day?" followed by... "when will I get to see my friends?"

Those were your main concerns about school. Luckily I was able to calm most of the fears. It's kind of funny because I have a whole set of worries that you would never even bother to worry about. How will you know what bus stop to get off at, will you eat your lunch fast enough, will you make friends right away, will you miss me, will you like school? My list goes on and on....

Kindergarten in less than 24 hours!

2009-08-23T07:03:00.002-05:00

Ughh...less than 24 hours until I will send you off on a bus all by yourself. In my defense I had good intentions of not making you ride the bus for the first two weeks. After the open house yesterday when I was informed that parent drop-off takes 45 minutes the first week or two I decided to just throw you in with the sharks. I figured for *your sake* it might be best to not know that their is another option to get to school. It will be the bus and I am hoping you will actually like it. I felt much better when they explained that staff will be waiting to take kindergartners straight to class. They also said I could put a sticker on you with your teachers name to make sure you get there okay.

I was really fine with this whole kindergarten thing, but yesterday just made it all too real. I realized this is it. You are no longer going to be home with me to play. I really like having you around. I know its strange!!! This might sound even more strange.... but before I ever had kids I wondered if parents still enjoyed their kids when they were no longer "cute" little toddlers or babies. Who knew? Once you have a kid you CONTINUE to adore them even as they get older! I suppose this is good news for me, but it sure is making this harder. I am just having a hard time picturing our outings without you. Who will convince me that we need to make a stop at McDonald's, who will beg me to do something "fun" today and what will I do without you nagging me all day for food, drink and entertainment. Well...maybe it won't be that bad, but it will be different. And I will MISS you.

As for your take on this whole adventure....you are fine. You seem more than ready and not one bit scared. I had one sinking moment yesterday when you quietly looked at me and sad "Mom, I am scared to go to Kindergarten." Oh no, I thought. Here it comes. She is going to break and tell me all her fears, I won't be able to handle it if she is scared and nervous, I just won't. Shocked I looked at you and asked why you were scared. You spoke so quiet and nervous I couldn't understand you, totally out of character. "Ava, what is it, I can't hear you." A little louder this time you said "i'm scared they are going to make me eat fruit, they make you eat fruit there." Oh relief! "They don't make you eat fruit, why do you think they make you eat fruit?" You explained to me the teacher said that you have to eat fruit. The teacher did go into snack time and how healthy snacks only were allowed, she must have mentioned fruit was a good choice. I assured you that I would be the one packing your snack and you did not have to eat fruit. If that is your biggest fear I think we are going to be alright.

34 weeks

2009-08-18T13:25:00.002-05:00

I am so excited to be nearing the end of this pregnancy! Ava and Charly seem to be getting excited also. I asked Charly how her baby brother was going to get out of me and she said (very excitedly) "HE GONNA POP OUT!" Oh I hope so:) I am hoping by the 3rd time he kind of just slips out...but a pop-out would work for me to. Pretty much just want him out....we can't wait to meet him. I am picturing more of a blond baby but Karl and Ava are sure he will have dark hair.

Last night Ava was coloring some family pictures and I easily picked myself out with the large circle that was my belly. She then drew another family picture with an even larger circle for the belly. She told me that she made the belly even bigger this time because that meant Jack was going to be coming really soon. 9 months feels long to me, but I can only imagine how long it feels to them.

As far as the pregnancy goes all is well. No major complaints...just starting to feel really large and really looking forward to having my former body back. This week I have started to have to pee anywhere from 4-6 times a night. That is getting old real quick! I am still working out 4 times a week and just starting to dread it a little. I am afraid to stop though because I think it is really helping with carrying around all of this extra weight. We will see how much longer I make it. I am shooting for another 3 weeks at least and then maybe I will just switch to walking to help bring on labor.

Last week Jack measured a week ahead. Thats reasonable, i can live with that. My belly seemed to be growing really fast but it seems to have slowed down lately. I go back this Friday so we will see how he is measuring this week.

The nursery is almost done and I am really happy with it. I painted Karl's old dresser black and it turned out really good. Bad news is I also spray painted some of the pavers in the driveway in the process. OOPS! I know better....i have spray painted a million things. I will blame it on my pregnancy brain that is getting smaller by the day. I guess I am lucky to have a pretty laid back husband that just shook his head at me when he saw the damage. Hey- I told him he was welcome to do the job..but nope he happily let me do it.

"my back hurts"

2009-08-18T13:20:00.002-05:00

Your daddy has been doing his fair share of whining about his back hurting. Being 8 months pregnant I am having a real hard time mustering up much sympathy for him...but that isn't really the point here. The funny part is that you, Charly, now have a bad back. A few times a day you are using your bad back as an excuse to not do things. The first time you said it I looked at your Dad like "did she really just say that???" This morning I asked for a kiss and you replied "can't do it, my back hurts." Ha ha... you crack me up. You on the other hand are being completely serious.

Ava and Charly's new school

2009-08-05T13:54:00.002-05:00

It has been 2 weeks since you two started at Allie Gator Playschool. At first Ava hated it and Charly loved it...now Ava you seem to be adapting and Charly is decided she doesn't like it. I felt so bad yesterday when I dropped you two off...Charly started the cry with a trembling lip that turned into a full on cry within seconds. I said my goodbyes and when I picked you up they told me you cried off and on all day:( When I picked you up you ran to me and wrapped your little arms around my neck so tight....and repeated it 3 times. It was so sweet but so sad. I decided to bump you up to 3 days a week in hopes that it will become more routine that way.

I am not so sure why Charly is not liking it but the reasons you give me Ava are pretty funny. You told me they make you sleep with your shoes on, they make you do stories for too long, dance for too long and sing way too many songs. My, oh my it sounds like a terrible place.

Letter to Ava on your 5th Birthday

2009-07-29T05:58:00.005-05:00

I thought this birthday was going to be the hardest so far for me. Five just seems so old. Oddly it isn't. The last year you have just grown up SO much. There is just no way I can deny that you are really 5. When you turned 3 and 4 i felt like I was losing my little baby....no more pretending you are my baby. You just seem so ready to be 5 and so ready to start school in a few weeks.

This past year has been quite different. When I look at you I see a miniature adult. When you talk I hear a funny little girl wise beyond her years. You are witty and silly and the queen of negotiations. You have also developed into a really sweet big sister. You are so patient with Charly and so intrigued by your baby brother still cooking inside. When you talk to Charly you use a completely different voice, your "mommy voice." I love to watch the sweet moments between the two of you....well until Charly pushes you away with a big "NO AVA."

"I didn't even sleep last night. Not at all. I never go to sleep. My eyes just won't close. It's like I can't close them and I just stay awake all night long!" You tell me this all the time...even after I just spent the last five minutes trying to wake you up in the morning. The conversations like this are what make my day...or week.

You are now old enough to dress yourself. It has provided me with endless entertainment, and frustration. My frustration comes from the wintry selections you like to pick out for July. Let's just say you like to layer. On the flip side you like your shirts to be feminine...umm...sexy. If it's strapless or lowcut you are all over it. In an attempt to "create" a strapless shirt you will take a skirt and wear it as a shirt. You make me proud kiddo!
Last week you found the video I made for you when you were born. It shows me while I was pregnant and you right after your birth. After you watched it about 18 times you started to cry. I asked you if they were happy tears or sad tears and you told me they were happy tears. You sat there for a minute, as if you were looking for a way to explain this happy tear phenomenon to me. "Mom, sometimes people cry when they are really happy. Like Aunt Britty. She cried when she got married and she was really happy. Thats why I am crying right now. When I watch that video it makes me so happy." I look forward to you sharing your sweetness and wisdom with me over the years. I love to hear to what you have to say and I promise to always keep listening. Thank you for continuing to make every day of our lives fun and full of life. We love you way beyond explanation.

No terrible Two's here

2009-07-25T07:13:00.003-05:00

Charly you are 2 years and 4 months old as of last week. Ever since you turned 2 you have been a joy. Don't get me wrong, you have your moments of complete nonsense.....but overall you are a joy to be around. The typical 2 year old things have been moving along so smoothly I don't know what to think! We moved you to your big girl bed a month ago and it's as if nothing changed. I lay you down, you go to bed..you wake up in the morning calling for me as usual. You even seem to be waking up happy these days. It used to take you awhile to get out of your funk in the morning. You have also embraced the potty and have been using it willingly for the past month.

The best part though is your mood and personality. As your language develops so does your personality...and you are funny! You have so many little things you say that are just so gosh darn cute I can hardly stand it! Usually you know when you are about to say something funny because you look at us for our reaction and then you burst into laughter.

I guess I must tell you two "don't even think about it." Lately it has been your favorite phrase to us. You will get all serious with us or Ava...point your little finger and say "don't THINK about it." Usually you do it to be funny. Like when we tell you to get out of trouble. You have even added a deep adult man voice imitation to it. That one really cracks me up.

Another favorite of mine is "too busy." Again I think you got this from me. I must tell you I am too busy:( It is funny though, the way you choose to use it. Usually you are doing absolutely NOTHING and we will ask you to go potty or climb down off the counter. Your quick reply is always "too busy" or "I too busy wight now."

"I told you" This one is also funny. Apprantly you think you are more of the boss then the child. You will boss us all around with "I TOLD you (Mommy, Daddy, Ava)" Whoever your demand is directed to.

But, you ultimately know who is boss. When you are testing your limits, which is quite common, you like to say "just a little bit?" For example at dinner. You insist on standing on your chair demanding all the attention for the meal. Your Dad will tell you over and over to sit down. You will ever so slightly squat and say "just a little bit?" It should be incredibly frustrating but when you say it how can we help but smile. You are cute and you know it. I could freeze you at this age, I really could.

Vacation to Iowa

2009-07-25T06:33:00.005-05:00

We got back last week from a week trip up to Iowa and Chicago to visit Nonna, Papa, The Chadwick's and the rest of the family up that way. Both of you girls were SO good. It made the trip incredibly enjoyable for all of us. The plane rides went smoothly, we had some long car rides and those went great to. Ava- you have mastered the age old question "Are we almost there yet?" I guess I haven't mastered the answer because my reply only keeps you satisfied for a few minutes. Eventually I started to break it down into how many Hanna Montana episodes it was left. That seemed to make sense to you. Anyway it was funny and only *mildly* annoying:)

When we got to Nonna and Papa's cottage you both went crazy excited to see them. It was such a cute moment. Both of you kicking furiously to get out of your carseats. We were only there for an hour when Papa told us that the fair was in town. Could it get any better? Not for you two. Off to the fair we went and you both had a blast with your cousin Jude.
Just hanging around the cottage was entertaining enough for you guys. It was the first time we let you play outside alone. The neighboring cottage had a sandbox and a slide. We would sit on the patio and you guys would play endlessly out there. Ava had fun pushing Jude and Charly on the swing and being designated as the "babysitter."

You got to go on 2 boat rides! Uncle Tom even let you drive the boat Ava. Everyone sat patiently as you swerved the boat up the river, smiling ear to ear. We spent the day with the Seigert's and you took a particular liking to Calli..referring to her as "the drak haired girl." We went to Happy Joe's to celebrate Calli's birthday and your upcoming 5th birthday. We let you ride with the Seigert's and apparently you talked the entire car ride. Sharing stories of the time you and Charly had the stomach flu "puking everywhere" to your ability to move the sun with your eyes. Quite the storyteller you are!

We took a trip out to visit the Amish of Iowa. That was an interesting day. Charly- you were pointing to the little innocent Amish children in black bonnett's calling them "kid witch, KID WITCH MOM." I thought that was pretty funny. We stopped at a few houses and the little kid witches even let you guys swing with them on their swing set. The amish kids stared in disbelief at us and you two stared right back at them. It was not something you see everyday.
Another highlight for the two of you was the day we spent with ALL the Noel's. Everyone came out to Gail's cottage(right across from my parents). You both played all day with Amy's kids. When we got home Ava, you told me your favorite part of the trip was playing with that girl. Still not so good with remembering names:) A highlight of the day was when your Daddy took you "sledding" down the hill. You guys laughed and smiled thw entire time. He made it look easy, but he really had to pull to get that slide to mive down the hill. The adults thought that was pretty funny.
The campfires were another highlight of the trip. I think it must have been your first campfire experience. When we went to make smores you thought it was the coolest idea ever....but when it came time to try the deliciousness you wanted nothing to do with a cooked marshmellow. This didn't surprise me....but wow what a difference from my days around the campfire as a kid. You both had fun and thats all the matters. Before we left you were planning your next trip back. Ava- you even cleared it with Nonna to make sure it was okay that you come back. Nonna and Papa better get moving on that addition!

30 Weeks

2009-07-25T06:15:00.002-05:00

So I am very, very excited that I have hit the 30 week mark. If everything goes to my plan and he comes a week early....we could have a new baby in less than 9 weeks! 9 Weeks sounds completely manageable to me, not so daunting anymore. I should be feeling worse at this point, but I actually have been feeling better. I haven't really been tired, no heartburn, no backache, not as hungry as before. Considering the circumstances I couldn't feel much better. He seems like he is carrying pretty high which is nice because I don't have that constant pressure on the bladder like I had with Ava.

A couple of weeks ago I decided to finally surrender and agree to name him Jack. I had pretty much decided about a month ago but I wanted to try it out a little before I committed to Karl. Karl is happy...but he had pretty much named him Jack anyway:) It is so nice to have a name picked out. I helps with the bonding to be able to call him something. We painted the nursery a couple of weeks ago also. I am loving how its turning out. Things are just moving right along!

At my last appt. I was measuring 2 weeks ahead. I was curious to see how this appt would go because I feel quite a bit larger this visit. To my surprise I measured right on track. This is a g0od thing as I would prefer to not deliver a 9 lb baby. I am pretty sure he will be bigger than the girls...but hopefully only by a lb. He just feels bigger inside to me. I can feel his little body and it feels pretty darn big in there!